Posts
I am so excited! I have decided that instead of new years resolutions I am doing a bucket list!
"Bucket List"
1) See the northern lights
2) Get published
I will add more as we go...
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
CONFRONTING MY PAST
I AM ALMOST 40. I HAVE LIVED THROUGH SOME OF THE DARKEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.
I HAD A ROUGH CHILDHOOD. I THINK WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING IN OUR CHILDHOOD WE WISH WE COULD FIX, CHANGE OR TAKE BACK. HELL, I HAVE THINGS IN MY ADULT LIFE I WISH I COULD CHANGE,FIX, OR TAKE BACK. A DO OVER WOULD BE NICE. BUT, THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. MY HARD PART IS THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE THINGS THAT I SHOULD BE SORRY FOR. APPARENTLY I WAS A HORRIBLE CHILD AND I REALLY HAVE THINGS I SHOULD WANT TO CHANGE BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER.
IT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER IT. CHILDHOOD IS SOMETHING WE SPEND OUR ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO OVERCOME. SOME ARE SUCCESSFUL AND SOME ARE NOT.
I HAVE A BROTHER WHO IS NOT SUCCESSFUL. HE BLAMES ME. HE SAYS I RUINED HIS CHILDHOOD BY BEATING HIM. I WAS ONLY THREE YEARS OLDER THAN HE IS, I WAS OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE BY THE TIME I WAS 16. WHEN I LEFT HE WAS BARLEY A TEEN AT ONLY MAYBE 13. HE SWEARS I ABUSED HIM BY BEATING HIM. HE HAS 4 DAUGHTERS. I BABYSAT THEM. IT WAS ONLY THIS SUMMER I HAD HIS DAUGHTER FOR TWO WEEKS (ONE WEEK AT A TIME). IF I WAS SO ABUSIVE, WHY DID HE LET HIS DAUGHTER COME STAY HERE FOR A WEEK. ANYWAY. I GUESS ITS HIDDEN OR SOMETHING.
REPRESSED MEMORIES. I HAD SOME PRETTY BAD ENCOUNTERS IN MY LIFE FROM A ROUGH CHILDHOOD, TO A BAD MARRIAGE AND EVEN SOME ENCOUNTERS THAT WEREN'T BY A FAMILY MEMBER. MY PARENTS WORKED AND THEY MADE ME STAY AT HOME AND WATCH MY BROTHERS. I HAD TO BE OVER TEN IN MY THOUGHT PROCESS. BUT, ACCORDING TO MY BROTHER I BEAT HIM. HE SAYS I ABUSED HIM. NEVER ANY MARKS. BECAUSE HE TOLD MY MOM. I ADMIT I WASN'T THE BEST SISTER AND I HAVE SAID I AM SORRY MORE THAN ANY PERSON SHOULD HAVE TO IN ANY LIFETIME. I HAVE TRIED TO OVERCOME THIS MY WHOLE LIFE. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AND THEN FINALLY GETTING ALONG NOW AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS HE HAS TAKEN A 360 TURN AND HE'S DONE. HE SAYS I AM DEAD TO HIM AND NOTHING. HE SAYS IF I ATTEND A FAMILY FUNCTION HE WILL MAKE ME MISERABLE. WELL, IF THAT IS WHAT HE WANTS. I THINK ITS WRONG. I HAD SAID I WOULD NOT GO TO THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR PROBABLY BECAUSE IT WAS SO CLOSE AND AT HIS HOUSE AND I DIDN'T WANT THE TENSION. BUT, I DIDN'T MEAN FOREVER.
ACTUALLY I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING ANYTHING. HE TRULY HATES ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AND TO FIND OUT SOMEONE HATES YOU SO MUCH. THAT THEY NEVER LIKED YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN FAKED. IT'S LIKE HAVING A DEATH. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I STAND NOW. I AM REEVALUATING MY ENTIRE LIFE.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT. WHO NEEDS TO BE REMOVED. I JUST AM CHECKING THE LIST ONE BY ONE.
MAYBE IT'S TIME I JUST STOP. I HAVE MY HUSBAND AND MY KIDS. ITS TIME TO CEASE EXISTENCE TO MY FAMILY OF PARENTS AND SIBLINGS. I MEAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IF THEY HATE ME SO MUCH, WHY SPEND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE FAKING ANYTHING? I FEEL SO ALONE NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHO IS REAL ANYMORE. I DON'T WHO I CAN TRUST. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE'S TRUE FEELINGS. WELL, I GUESS I DO NOW. MY PARENTS EVEN. I AM LOOKING OVER EVERYTHING.
I HAD A ROUGH CHILDHOOD. I THINK WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING IN OUR CHILDHOOD WE WISH WE COULD FIX, CHANGE OR TAKE BACK. HELL, I HAVE THINGS IN MY ADULT LIFE I WISH I COULD CHANGE,FIX, OR TAKE BACK. A DO OVER WOULD BE NICE. BUT, THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. MY HARD PART IS THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE THINGS THAT I SHOULD BE SORRY FOR. APPARENTLY I WAS A HORRIBLE CHILD AND I REALLY HAVE THINGS I SHOULD WANT TO CHANGE BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER.
IT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU CAN'T REMEMBER IT. CHILDHOOD IS SOMETHING WE SPEND OUR ENTIRE LIFE TRYING TO OVERCOME. SOME ARE SUCCESSFUL AND SOME ARE NOT.
I HAVE A BROTHER WHO IS NOT SUCCESSFUL. HE BLAMES ME. HE SAYS I RUINED HIS CHILDHOOD BY BEATING HIM. I WAS ONLY THREE YEARS OLDER THAN HE IS, I WAS OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE BY THE TIME I WAS 16. WHEN I LEFT HE WAS BARLEY A TEEN AT ONLY MAYBE 13. HE SWEARS I ABUSED HIM BY BEATING HIM. HE HAS 4 DAUGHTERS. I BABYSAT THEM. IT WAS ONLY THIS SUMMER I HAD HIS DAUGHTER FOR TWO WEEKS (ONE WEEK AT A TIME). IF I WAS SO ABUSIVE, WHY DID HE LET HIS DAUGHTER COME STAY HERE FOR A WEEK. ANYWAY. I GUESS ITS HIDDEN OR SOMETHING.
REPRESSED MEMORIES. I HAD SOME PRETTY BAD ENCOUNTERS IN MY LIFE FROM A ROUGH CHILDHOOD, TO A BAD MARRIAGE AND EVEN SOME ENCOUNTERS THAT WEREN'T BY A FAMILY MEMBER. MY PARENTS WORKED AND THEY MADE ME STAY AT HOME AND WATCH MY BROTHERS. I HAD TO BE OVER TEN IN MY THOUGHT PROCESS. BUT, ACCORDING TO MY BROTHER I BEAT HIM. HE SAYS I ABUSED HIM. NEVER ANY MARKS. BECAUSE HE TOLD MY MOM. I ADMIT I WASN'T THE BEST SISTER AND I HAVE SAID I AM SORRY MORE THAN ANY PERSON SHOULD HAVE TO IN ANY LIFETIME. I HAVE TRIED TO OVERCOME THIS MY WHOLE LIFE. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AND THEN FINALLY GETTING ALONG NOW AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS HE HAS TAKEN A 360 TURN AND HE'S DONE. HE SAYS I AM DEAD TO HIM AND NOTHING. HE SAYS IF I ATTEND A FAMILY FUNCTION HE WILL MAKE ME MISERABLE. WELL, IF THAT IS WHAT HE WANTS. I THINK ITS WRONG. I HAD SAID I WOULD NOT GO TO THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR PROBABLY BECAUSE IT WAS SO CLOSE AND AT HIS HOUSE AND I DIDN'T WANT THE TENSION. BUT, I DIDN'T MEAN FOREVER.
ACTUALLY I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING ANYTHING. HE TRULY HATES ME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AND TO FIND OUT SOMEONE HATES YOU SO MUCH. THAT THEY NEVER LIKED YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN FAKED. IT'S LIKE HAVING A DEATH. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I STAND NOW. I AM REEVALUATING MY ENTIRE LIFE.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT. WHO NEEDS TO BE REMOVED. I JUST AM CHECKING THE LIST ONE BY ONE.
MAYBE IT'S TIME I JUST STOP. I HAVE MY HUSBAND AND MY KIDS. ITS TIME TO CEASE EXISTENCE TO MY FAMILY OF PARENTS AND SIBLINGS. I MEAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IF THEY HATE ME SO MUCH, WHY SPEND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE FAKING ANYTHING? I FEEL SO ALONE NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHO IS REAL ANYMORE. I DON'T WHO I CAN TRUST. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE'S TRUE FEELINGS. WELL, I GUESS I DO NOW. MY PARENTS EVEN. I AM LOOKING OVER EVERYTHING.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Repost from Health and Wellness
uesday, April 20, 2010
Finding out about my addiction
I just didn't realize food was an addiction. While I am not a drug user of any sort of recreational drug, I am not a drinking either. I smoke cigarettes which needs to stop as well, that will come later because I can't do all changes at once or I won't follow through. I believe this.
With my choice and decisions made to change I began to find out what made me tick, what would help me. I began gaining and gaining and gaining until I confronted this issue. I am a sucker for hot fudge and ice cream. So - I would fill a bowl and add hot fudge and chow down after everyone was asleep. I ate! It shows too. Like I said, total honesty.
I just realized it was controlling me. I can't let this control me anymore.
So - I made a decision. I was given some small help books for diabetes type two - one was healthy eating and one was healthy activity. I need them both. Who am I kidding?
Not a soul. I don't see fat unless I am looking at a photo of myself or if I am trying to button my pants that use to fit perfect. I have them and I am not giving them away, just yet. I decided to try them out, hold them until July 15 - my b-day and if they still don't fit, off to the charity house. But - let's get started -
Addiction is a real illness. I know this because of my dealings with drug addicts and alcoholics. So, I am about 190 to 195 would be my guess - no, let me take that down - I am only like 2 inches buttoning my shorts that are size 16.. I don't want to be a size 16 but, I want to get there first...then the rest...so, let's be honest.
I have an intestinal problem. My medication causes trouble and I have chronic constipation. I take a Vegetable Laxative and Stool Softener everyday. I take 4 each of them and only have normal bowel movements. You'd think I would be on the pot 24/7 with all that, but I am not. So - on a not bloated day from the problems I would weigh about 185 to 190...with bloating I am probably close to 200. This is a guess. I haven't rewarded myself with a scale yet. I am working toward goals.
I am rewarding myself with non food items as I reach certain goals. By June I want to be in my shorts comfortably...By June 1st because we are going on vacation in June and I want to do well...and be smaller..so, here's to getting healthy. I will eat 5 to 6 small meals a day because I am diabetic and I must keep my sugar normal.
Yesterday was Step 1 - my first day - I had 25 points and went 3 over than I was suppose to. Today I working to stay within my points and I am also going to exercise to gain some points back too.
Today - Day number 2 - well, I am still excited. I am working on a few things. I am working on baby steps to concur my disorganized lifestyle.
I am working on points, and activity today. I am optimistic and can see a future with my body being healthy. It hurts to walk, to exercise, but I am going to do it. I am going to work hard at it too. So - there we go...Have a great day...
Love you for reading.
Posted by Tracy Knight at 9:38 AM 0 comments
Food as my addiction...
I finally had to be honest and see that I needed to change. It's been to long. I didn't grow up overweight - in fact I was way small. I didn't hardly weigh anything and I miss that so much. Anyway...I have begun my journey to health, wellness and loosing pounds.
I am not going to starve myself, but I am going to make a plan. I have decided to incorporate some things into my daily living that are right for me. I will add credit when it's due and I will list the resource as well. I am not relying on one program to work for me, I am making my own...with that said, I will give credit where it is due..which is Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com - I am using a part point system - I have an entire kit from when my mom was a member. So, the ideas of the points really appeal to me and I think I will do well on this area - my next is Ruby - http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp -
She's an amazing woman and I have been following her progress and I am taking the challenge and borrowing the 12 steps to help me because my next help is from a book called Take Action given to me by my Dr. It's two books - one for activity and one for healthy choices - so I am looking forward to using this all together as a help for me. Also - while doing this I must credit Fly Lady because with my activity and eating - I have decided to also change my life style - and Fly Lady is my choice to incorporate into my life plan.
I am excited. I started Yesterday
Monday, April 19, 2010 with my brand new life.
Let me give ya a run down here.
I am following a point system which gives point values to food and I need to stay with a certain amount of points for the day. This is causing me to be brutality honest, even when I want to lie. About eating, about weight, about skipping exercise. Honestly and True - It's me!!!
I love you foe being here - Thanks for reading!
Posted by Tracy Knight at 9:25 AM 0 comments
Updates on Health and Wellness - starting my recovery
Hey There!
I know - its been awhile. I am working toward a better me...I have a few things going on, there are some health issues, but I am working to solve it.
Health update:
Hematologist ordered blood work and I return on April 29 for an update. If the blood work is okay then I will make the steps for a bone marrow check - not sure what that entails and I honestly don't want to know. If blood is better from the iron pills or whatever then I am done with him. He suggested a visit to my OB/GYN which I haven't seen in years. So, I will be making an appointment and getting that stupid pap smear.
I started seeing a Chiropractor here in Whitney. My insurance pays for 12 visits a year.
He's great, he's careful and over all I do feel better. I had my third adjustment yesterday and I am a little more sore. But, there are other changes taking place there too that may be playing a part into that pain. Overall I am adjusting well.
My counselor slowed me to only seeing her once a month or so. I am glad. think maybe its too soon. But, I am adjusting. I know the recent visit has helped allot with all if this too.
So, I am making life changes. I have to admit that I am well, I am FAT!!! I have to do something. This is effecting my ability to move forward with anything. I am doing a combination here...
For my weight:
I am following Ruby @ http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp - I just love her! So, I am using her plan a little and
then incorporating the Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com Point System into my life. I have a kit from a while back. It was my mothers and she gave it to me. It's perfect, has everything to do the point system right here in my on home. I even have a calculator that's so cool at finding point values for things fast and easy. I am going to keep it in my purse.
Also what I will be doing with a little of Kirstie. I am Checking out Kirstie alley's stuff too at http://www.organicliaison.com/intro. I haven't purchased anything. Because I want to do this right. I don't want to do prepared foods, 2 shakes and 1 meal, I want to change my eating habits and life for the better so I am going to make my own weight loss program. You can follow my program and progress here, at facebook, twitter, and my personal blog. I will be posting more later today...I love you reading...
If you want to check these out I have provided links for you.
Posted by Tracy Knight at 9:24 AM 0 comments
Finding out about my addiction
I just didn't realize food was an addiction. While I am not a drug user of any sort of recreational drug, I am not a drinking either. I smoke cigarettes which needs to stop as well, that will come later because I can't do all changes at once or I won't follow through. I believe this.
With my choice and decisions made to change I began to find out what made me tick, what would help me. I began gaining and gaining and gaining until I confronted this issue. I am a sucker for hot fudge and ice cream. So - I would fill a bowl and add hot fudge and chow down after everyone was asleep. I ate! It shows too. Like I said, total honesty.
I just realized it was controlling me. I can't let this control me anymore.
So - I made a decision. I was given some small help books for diabetes type two - one was healthy eating and one was healthy activity. I need them both. Who am I kidding?
Not a soul. I don't see fat unless I am looking at a photo of myself or if I am trying to button my pants that use to fit perfect. I have them and I am not giving them away, just yet. I decided to try them out, hold them until July 15 - my b-day and if they still don't fit, off to the charity house. But - let's get started -
Addiction is a real illness. I know this because of my dealings with drug addicts and alcoholics. So, I am about 190 to 195 would be my guess - no, let me take that down - I am only like 2 inches buttoning my shorts that are size 16.. I don't want to be a size 16 but, I want to get there first...then the rest...so, let's be honest.
I have an intestinal problem. My medication causes trouble and I have chronic constipation. I take a Vegetable Laxative and Stool Softener everyday. I take 4 each of them and only have normal bowel movements. You'd think I would be on the pot 24/7 with all that, but I am not. So - on a not bloated day from the problems I would weigh about 185 to 190...with bloating I am probably close to 200. This is a guess. I haven't rewarded myself with a scale yet. I am working toward goals.
I am rewarding myself with non food items as I reach certain goals. By June I want to be in my shorts comfortably...By June 1st because we are going on vacation in June and I want to do well...and be smaller..so, here's to getting healthy. I will eat 5 to 6 small meals a day because I am diabetic and I must keep my sugar normal.
Yesterday was Step 1 - my first day - I had 25 points and went 3 over than I was suppose to. Today I working to stay within my points and I am also going to exercise to gain some points back too.
Today - Day number 2 - well, I am still excited. I am working on a few things. I am working on baby steps to concur my disorganized lifestyle.
I am working on points, and activity today. I am optimistic and can see a future with my body being healthy. It hurts to walk, to exercise, but I am going to do it. I am going to work hard at it too. So - there we go...Have a great day...
Love you for reading.
Posted by Tracy Knight at 9:38 AM 0 comments
Food as my addiction...
I finally had to be honest and see that I needed to change. It's been to long. I didn't grow up overweight - in fact I was way small. I didn't hardly weigh anything and I miss that so much. Anyway...I have begun my journey to health, wellness and loosing pounds.
I am not going to starve myself, but I am going to make a plan. I have decided to incorporate some things into my daily living that are right for me. I will add credit when it's due and I will list the resource as well. I am not relying on one program to work for me, I am making my own...with that said, I will give credit where it is due..which is Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com - I am using a part point system - I have an entire kit from when my mom was a member. So, the ideas of the points really appeal to me and I think I will do well on this area - my next is Ruby - http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp -
She's an amazing woman and I have been following her progress and I am taking the challenge and borrowing the 12 steps to help me because my next help is from a book called Take Action given to me by my Dr. It's two books - one for activity and one for healthy choices - so I am looking forward to using this all together as a help for me. Also - while doing this I must credit Fly Lady because with my activity and eating - I have decided to also change my life style - and Fly Lady is my choice to incorporate into my life plan.
I am excited. I started Yesterday
Monday, April 19, 2010 with my brand new life.
Let me give ya a run down here.
I am following a point system which gives point values to food and I need to stay with a certain amount of points for the day. This is causing me to be brutality honest, even when I want to lie. About eating, about weight, about skipping exercise. Honestly and True - It's me!!!
I love you foe being here - Thanks for reading!
Posted by Tracy Knight at 9:25 AM 0 comments
Updates on Health and Wellness - starting my recovery
Hey There!
I know - its been awhile. I am working toward a better me...I have a few things going on, there are some health issues, but I am working to solve it.
Health update:
Hematologist ordered blood work and I return on April 29 for an update. If the blood work is okay then I will make the steps for a bone marrow check - not sure what that entails and I honestly don't want to know. If blood is better from the iron pills or whatever then I am done with him. He suggested a visit to my OB/GYN which I haven't seen in years. So, I will be making an appointment and getting that stupid pap smear.
I started seeing a Chiropractor here in Whitney. My insurance pays for 12 visits a year.
He's great, he's careful and over all I do feel better. I had my third adjustment yesterday and I am a little more sore. But, there are other changes taking place there too that may be playing a part into that pain. Overall I am adjusting well.
My counselor slowed me to only seeing her once a month or so. I am glad. think maybe its too soon. But, I am adjusting. I know the recent visit has helped allot with all if this too.
So, I am making life changes. I have to admit that I am well, I am FAT!!! I have to do something. This is effecting my ability to move forward with anything. I am doing a combination here...
For my weight:
I am following Ruby @ http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp - I just love her! So, I am using her plan a little and
then incorporating the Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com Point System into my life. I have a kit from a while back. It was my mothers and she gave it to me. It's perfect, has everything to do the point system right here in my on home. I even have a calculator that's so cool at finding point values for things fast and easy. I am going to keep it in my purse.
Also what I will be doing with a little of Kirstie. I am Checking out Kirstie alley's stuff too at http://www.organicliaison.com/intro. I haven't purchased anything. Because I want to do this right. I don't want to do prepared foods, 2 shakes and 1 meal, I want to change my eating habits and life for the better so I am going to make my own weight loss program. You can follow my program and progress here, at facebook, twitter, and my personal blog. I will be posting more later today...I love you reading...
If you want to check these out I have provided links for you.
Posted by Tracy Knight at 9:24 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Me Totally!
Finally getting into the swing of things again. Trying to work on the blogs since I am not using my space anymore. I love face book and enjoy it more. Who knew!
I am so totally goofy. I am over emotional, I wear my feelings on my sleeves. I cry when I think about the love I share with my kids and husband.
I am so totally goofy. I am over emotional, I wear my feelings on my sleeves. I cry when I think about the love I share with my kids and husband.
Purpose Life
For a couple of years now I have been living on purpose. It seemed like only a short time ago I was facing my darkest days. Constant chronic pain, no ability to balance and walk. I was seeing my way through a life that didn't seem like it was going to ever have an quality of life again. I had to determine to do better. I may not be able to run a marathon, run, or exercise everyday but I can walk. When you face a difficult illness, cancer, something life changing you realize what means the most. I learned what was important. It was no longer important to be right in every situation. It was not necessary to have the last word. My purpose became to just simply smile and live life on purpose. I do have a day here or there that makes me blissfully aware of what my fate could be. It's like a reminder. It reminds me that if I am in pain I am still alive. If I am in pain now I know that I can gain control and survive the attack. I see what life is healthy and limited amount of pain that remains controlled.
Although my pain is very well controlled I know that any moment my life can change. I take every day as a day to take a new breath and know that I am loved and wanted. My children are my rock and they keep me strong and feeling loved and needed. My husband is the most amazing man I know besides my father and sons of course. I thank God to this very day for every moment he has given to me with John. I look around me and see into the lives of my friends and the marriages that are rocky or in pain. I can look at my marriage and know we are strong. We are in love and we stay in love. We value our life together and our time to love together. He is my angel from God.
He assures me that I am wanted, needed, loved, and valued. He doesn't touch me with a shaky hand, he holds firm and lets me know I am his rock too. We have faced some of my darkest days together. He didn't leave me. He was there with my face and with me every step of the way when I had my brain surgery. He has been there to carry me when I couldn't walk on my own two feet. He has loved me no matter what. I love him no matter what. We are both very kind and loving, we are giving and love to help others when we are able to. We are both so in love that I know we are okay - after 12 years, we are still okay.
Walking my journey through my purpose life...
Until next time - Thanks for reading and I love you for reading...
Tracy
Although my pain is very well controlled I know that any moment my life can change. I take every day as a day to take a new breath and know that I am loved and wanted. My children are my rock and they keep me strong and feeling loved and needed. My husband is the most amazing man I know besides my father and sons of course. I thank God to this very day for every moment he has given to me with John. I look around me and see into the lives of my friends and the marriages that are rocky or in pain. I can look at my marriage and know we are strong. We are in love and we stay in love. We value our life together and our time to love together. He is my angel from God.
He assures me that I am wanted, needed, loved, and valued. He doesn't touch me with a shaky hand, he holds firm and lets me know I am his rock too. We have faced some of my darkest days together. He didn't leave me. He was there with my face and with me every step of the way when I had my brain surgery. He has been there to carry me when I couldn't walk on my own two feet. He has loved me no matter what. I love him no matter what. We are both very kind and loving, we are giving and love to help others when we are able to. We are both so in love that I know we are okay - after 12 years, we are still okay.
Walking my journey through my purpose life...
Until next time - Thanks for reading and I love you for reading...
Tracy
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Weekly Update
Lately we have made many changes to our lifestyle that makes things easy on us.
We are scheduled to leave on Saturday for a week in Galveston in a Beach House.
Right at the beach with coffee on the balcony in the morning watching the sunset and sunrise on the ocean. I am so excited. But, affording it? We were given a free week in the beach house and with only the gas to get us there and the food to enjoy, we are in for a very nice vacation for a very low price.
I have been rolling my own cigarettes saving over $100 a month.
Making our own laundry soap we have been doing for well over a year.
These savings have made it possible to do even more - to our house, with our family.
We are enjoying the benefits of living a frugal life.
We are scheduled to leave on Saturday for a week in Galveston in a Beach House.
Right at the beach with coffee on the balcony in the morning watching the sunset and sunrise on the ocean. I am so excited. But, affording it? We were given a free week in the beach house and with only the gas to get us there and the food to enjoy, we are in for a very nice vacation for a very low price.
I have been rolling my own cigarettes saving over $100 a month.
Making our own laundry soap we have been doing for well over a year.
These savings have made it possible to do even more - to our house, with our family.
We are enjoying the benefits of living a frugal life.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Cigarettes! Roll Your Own!
Hey there readers. I have been extremely naughty and haven't kept up with any of my blogs. So, I decided to do better. Yes, I am a smoker, and yes I roll my own cigarettes and they are better than store bought and cheaper. I average about $5 a carton. Depending on your equipment it will average your cost.. I am going to go through the process of roller a cigarette and add some photos, as well. Hope you enjoy this!
First you will need equipment. The rolling machines I call them range from simple and cheap starting from around $5 and on up to electric and over $100. So, use your head.
You don't want to go cheap cheap because it can be more difficult to roll and it may not be put together as well. Remember, you get what you pay for. A carton in Texas runs anywhere from $30 to $60. So, for what you spend on a carton, you can buy the things to roll your own for the same price. Texas has huge inflated taxes on cigarettes.
We chose to go a little higher quality and our roller was $50. We bought the roller, two cartons of 200 rolling tubes (short lights), a 6 oz. bag of tobacco - the cost for us to start was about $70 but, we didn't buy online first, we bought from a local tobacco store. The store is $15 for a 6 oz bag of tobacco when you can get it online for the same price but for double the tobacco which is about $15 for a 1 lb. bag, the tubes at the store are $3.50 and online you pay about $2 a box for 200 to 250 rolling tubes. After the roller is bought, it will only cost you on average about $5 to $8 a carton. Sounds simple right?! Just take that $60 and make the purchase for your needs to roll instead of buying that carton. Trust me!
okay, so - you can check online. I first bought from www.ryocigarette.com and they are good. But, I was missing a box of tubes and the packing slip showed it in the box when shipped - and this site does not replace or refund if that happens. So, you can use your internet search engine to find a place to make your purchases or check your local tobacco store. This is worth it.
Tips:
1) if you have a natural or bold tobacco, you need to decide: if you want a light cigarette then use a light filter with bold tobacco. Try to avoid light tobacco and light filters, because it turns into ultra light.
2) Buy more than one box of tubes b/c you will need to practice and there will be mistakes - trust me! So, allow for the extra to experiment and get it right.
For more information - shoot me an email at tracyrknight@hotmail.com
Good luck no matter what you decide!
First you will need equipment. The rolling machines I call them range from simple and cheap starting from around $5 and on up to electric and over $100. So, use your head.
You don't want to go cheap cheap because it can be more difficult to roll and it may not be put together as well. Remember, you get what you pay for. A carton in Texas runs anywhere from $30 to $60. So, for what you spend on a carton, you can buy the things to roll your own for the same price. Texas has huge inflated taxes on cigarettes.
We chose to go a little higher quality and our roller was $50. We bought the roller, two cartons of 200 rolling tubes (short lights), a 6 oz. bag of tobacco - the cost for us to start was about $70 but, we didn't buy online first, we bought from a local tobacco store. The store is $15 for a 6 oz bag of tobacco when you can get it online for the same price but for double the tobacco which is about $15 for a 1 lb. bag, the tubes at the store are $3.50 and online you pay about $2 a box for 200 to 250 rolling tubes. After the roller is bought, it will only cost you on average about $5 to $8 a carton. Sounds simple right?! Just take that $60 and make the purchase for your needs to roll instead of buying that carton. Trust me!
okay, so - you can check online. I first bought from www.ryocigarette.com and they are good. But, I was missing a box of tubes and the packing slip showed it in the box when shipped - and this site does not replace or refund if that happens. So, you can use your internet search engine to find a place to make your purchases or check your local tobacco store. This is worth it.
Tips:
1) if you have a natural or bold tobacco, you need to decide: if you want a light cigarette then use a light filter with bold tobacco. Try to avoid light tobacco and light filters, because it turns into ultra light.
2) Buy more than one box of tubes b/c you will need to practice and there will be mistakes - trust me! So, allow for the extra to experiment and get it right.
For more information - shoot me an email at tracyrknight@hotmail.com
Good luck no matter what you decide!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Finding the delete button
Don't you wish you could just hit the delete button. Just run up to it, slam down your foot and have a restore point, an undo button. I wish I had those.
You are pissed off and you let your mouth overload you BUTT - bam where's the undo button. Bam - click it and it rewinds and deletes the moment before you put your foot in your mouth...
Say I had this huge fight and it brought me to starring down at something and loosing that relationship rather it be a family member, spouse or child - and you make it through the new door and realize, nope - it's not going to work like this..you can search and find the restore point and take you back to where it all made sense and there was never an unkind word said.
We are all capable of being angry - saying hateful things, having mean thoughts. If you never cross those thoughts then you are a stuffed doll. Because anyone who is human has these points they get too.
What about a delete button..yes, you say it, do it and then look back and see the mess you left behind and you reread the rough draft and go ahead and hit the delete button or hit the backspace before you send it out of your head or mouth..then its doctored.
But, more than anything - going back to sweep and clean up. The Restore/redo/undo buttons...
Everything you do has a fix it except for our hurt and anger feeling either caused by someone else or yourself. Your words - once you say it, you can't go back and wipe it clean. Because once it leaves your fingers and lips and makes contact with the other person, it's too late and its the one thing you can't take back, fix, wipe clean, delete, undo, or restore...
So, think with your entire head and heart. Always always always be made for entire 24 hours before you clap down and face the issue head on - and eye to eye!
No matter how many people say you are forgiven, and try to go back to the start line..it is never the same again...trust me
Go ahead and hit the back button...right now!!!
You are pissed off and you let your mouth overload you BUTT - bam where's the undo button. Bam - click it and it rewinds and deletes the moment before you put your foot in your mouth...
Say I had this huge fight and it brought me to starring down at something and loosing that relationship rather it be a family member, spouse or child - and you make it through the new door and realize, nope - it's not going to work like this..you can search and find the restore point and take you back to where it all made sense and there was never an unkind word said.
We are all capable of being angry - saying hateful things, having mean thoughts. If you never cross those thoughts then you are a stuffed doll. Because anyone who is human has these points they get too.
What about a delete button..yes, you say it, do it and then look back and see the mess you left behind and you reread the rough draft and go ahead and hit the delete button or hit the backspace before you send it out of your head or mouth..then its doctored.
But, more than anything - going back to sweep and clean up. The Restore/redo/undo buttons...
Everything you do has a fix it except for our hurt and anger feeling either caused by someone else or yourself. Your words - once you say it, you can't go back and wipe it clean. Because once it leaves your fingers and lips and makes contact with the other person, it's too late and its the one thing you can't take back, fix, wipe clean, delete, undo, or restore...
So, think with your entire head and heart. Always always always be made for entire 24 hours before you clap down and face the issue head on - and eye to eye!
No matter how many people say you are forgiven, and try to go back to the start line..it is never the same again...trust me
Go ahead and hit the back button...right now!!!
Finding the delete button
Don't you wish you could just hit the delete button. Just run up to it, slam down your foot and have a restore point, an undo button. I wish I had those.
You are pissed off and you let your mouth overload you BUTT - bam where's the undo button. Bam - click it and it rewinds and deletes the moment before you put your foot in your mouth...
Say I had this huge fight and it brought me to starring down at something and loosing that relationship rather it be a family member, spouse or child - and you make it through the new door and realize, nope - it's not going to work like this..you can search and find the restore point and take you back to where it all made sense and there was never an unkind word said.
We are all capable of being angry - saying hateful things, having mean thoughts. If you never cross those thoughts then you are a stuffed doll. Because anyone who is human has these points they get too.
What about a delete button..yes, you say it, do it and then look back and see the mess you left behind and you reread the rough draft and go ahead and hit the delete button or hit the backspace before you send it out of your head or mouth..then its doctored.
But, more than anything - going back to sweep and clean up. The Restore/redo/undo buttons...
Everything you do has a fix it except for our hurt and anger feeling either caused by someone else or yourself. Your words - once you say it, you can't go back and wipe it clean. Because once it leaves your fingers and lips and makes contact with the other person, it's too late and its the one thing you can't take back, fix, wipe clean, delete, undo, or restore...
So, think with your entire head and heart. Always always always be made for entire 24 hours before you clap down and face the issue head on - and eye to eye!
No matter how many people say you are forgiven, and try to go back to the start line..it is never the same again...trust me
Go ahead and hit the back button...right now!!!
You are pissed off and you let your mouth overload you BUTT - bam where's the undo button. Bam - click it and it rewinds and deletes the moment before you put your foot in your mouth...
Say I had this huge fight and it brought me to starring down at something and loosing that relationship rather it be a family member, spouse or child - and you make it through the new door and realize, nope - it's not going to work like this..you can search and find the restore point and take you back to where it all made sense and there was never an unkind word said.
We are all capable of being angry - saying hateful things, having mean thoughts. If you never cross those thoughts then you are a stuffed doll. Because anyone who is human has these points they get too.
What about a delete button..yes, you say it, do it and then look back and see the mess you left behind and you reread the rough draft and go ahead and hit the delete button or hit the backspace before you send it out of your head or mouth..then its doctored.
But, more than anything - going back to sweep and clean up. The Restore/redo/undo buttons...
Everything you do has a fix it except for our hurt and anger feeling either caused by someone else or yourself. Your words - once you say it, you can't go back and wipe it clean. Because once it leaves your fingers and lips and makes contact with the other person, it's too late and its the one thing you can't take back, fix, wipe clean, delete, undo, or restore...
So, think with your entire head and heart. Always always always be made for entire 24 hours before you clap down and face the issue head on - and eye to eye!
No matter how many people say you are forgiven, and try to go back to the start line..it is never the same again...trust me
Go ahead and hit the back button...right now!!!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Surfing Through the Darkness
I must say that lately I have been doing pretty good. Getting my blood under control has made a difference. With the Chiropractor and the hematologist help I am doing well. Getting more out there and moving, not so many days in bed not able to move.
I am so grateful for everything. I am so happy I am having such great days more and more. Pain free days, that's the goal..I have had a few and I feel like superwoman when I am feeling great - I do to much and then I pay for it. I got to learn to go easy and build up to the doing more. There's still allot I want to change. Slowly with baby steps I am. I intend to quit smoking this year. I intend to get moving in May and meet my goal of loosing 20 pounds by my birthday in July. That's like what a month. Is that too much to loose? I don't care, I am going for it. My intentions are a realistic goal of loosing about 70 pounds and getting to my goal weight of 120. I have started exercising to keep myself moving..well, I am off to reach my goals - I will be back soon. If you want to follow the weight loss...go to www.knightcabin.com
Love you for reading...
I am so grateful for everything. I am so happy I am having such great days more and more. Pain free days, that's the goal..I have had a few and I feel like superwoman when I am feeling great - I do to much and then I pay for it. I got to learn to go easy and build up to the doing more. There's still allot I want to change. Slowly with baby steps I am. I intend to quit smoking this year. I intend to get moving in May and meet my goal of loosing 20 pounds by my birthday in July. That's like what a month. Is that too much to loose? I don't care, I am going for it. My intentions are a realistic goal of loosing about 70 pounds and getting to my goal weight of 120. I have started exercising to keep myself moving..well, I am off to reach my goals - I will be back soon. If you want to follow the weight loss...go to www.knightcabin.com
Love you for reading...
Friday, April 30, 2010
THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BUT PROBABLY DON'T
1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana)paper.
3. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a 'tittle.'
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller .
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster 's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes.
He was albino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents,daily.
10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces
will kill a small-sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the
shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland
because he doesn't wear pants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
16. Upper- and lower-case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters,
the Upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the
other at the same time, hence multi-tasking was invented.
18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a a recorded Wendy before!
21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange and purple.
22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa 's lips.
23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death
24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original 'Halloween' was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white..
25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being
able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)
26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)
27. The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your
thumb.
28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with
apples.
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.
34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart, "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her off to jail."
1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana)paper.
3. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a 'tittle.'
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller .
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster 's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes.
He was albino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents,daily.
10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces
will kill a small-sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the
shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland
because he doesn't wear pants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.
16. Upper- and lower-case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters,
the Upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the
other at the same time, hence multi-tasking was invented.
18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a a recorded Wendy before!
21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange and purple.
22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa 's lips.
23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death
24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original 'Halloween' was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white..
25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being
able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)
26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)
27. The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your
thumb.
28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with
apples.
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.
34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart, "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her off to jail."
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Finding out about my addiction
I just didn't realize food was an addiction. While I am not a drug user of any sort of recreational drug, I am not a drinking either. I smoke cigarettes which needs to stop as well, that will come later because I can't do all changes at once or I won't follow through. I believe this.
With my choice and decisions made to change I began to find out what made me tick, what would help me. I began gaining and gaining and gaining until I confronted this issue. I am a sucker for hot fudge and ice cream. So - I would fill a bowl and add hot fudge and chow down after everyone was asleep. I ate! It shows too. Like I said, total honesty.
I just realized it was controlling me. I can't let this control me anymore.
So - I made a decision. I was given some small help books for diabetes type two - one was healthy eating and one was healthy activity. I need them both. Who am I kidding?
Not a soul. I don't see fat unless I am looking at a photo of myself or if I am trying to button my pants that use to fit perfect. I have them and I am not giving them away, just yet. I decided to try them out, hold them until July 15 - my b-day and if they still don't fit, off to the charity house. But - let's get started -
Addiction is a real illness. I know this because of my dealings with drug addicts and alcoholics. So, I am about 190 to 195 would be my guess - no, let me take that down - I am only like 2 inches buttoning my shorts that are size 16.. I don't want to be a size 16 but, I want to get there first...then the rest...so, let's be honest.
I have an intestinal problem. My medication causes trouble and I have chronic constipation. I take a Vegetable Laxative and Stool Softener everyday. I take 4 each of them and only have normal bowel movements. You'd think I would be on the pot 24/7 with all that, but I am not. So - on a not bloated day from the problems I would weigh about 185 to 190...with bloating I am probably close to 200. This is a guess. I haven't rewarded myself with a scale yet. I am working toward goals.
I am rewarding myself with non food items as I reach certain goals. By June I want to be in my shorts comfortably...By June 1st because we are going on vacation in June and I want to do well...and be smaller..so, here's to getting healthy. I will eat 5 to 6 small meals a day because I am diabetic and I must keep my sugar normal.
Yesterday was Step 1 - my first day - I had 25 points and went 3 over than I was suppose to. Today I working to stay within my points and I am also going to exercise to gain some points back too.
Today - Day number 2 - well, I am still excited. I am working on a few things. I am working on baby steps to concur my disorganized lifestyle.
I am working on points, and activity today. I am optimistic and can see a future with my body being healthy. It hurts to walk, to exercise, but I am going to do it. I am going to work hard at it too. So - there we go...Have a great day...
Love you for reading.
With my choice and decisions made to change I began to find out what made me tick, what would help me. I began gaining and gaining and gaining until I confronted this issue. I am a sucker for hot fudge and ice cream. So - I would fill a bowl and add hot fudge and chow down after everyone was asleep. I ate! It shows too. Like I said, total honesty.
I just realized it was controlling me. I can't let this control me anymore.
So - I made a decision. I was given some small help books for diabetes type two - one was healthy eating and one was healthy activity. I need them both. Who am I kidding?
Not a soul. I don't see fat unless I am looking at a photo of myself or if I am trying to button my pants that use to fit perfect. I have them and I am not giving them away, just yet. I decided to try them out, hold them until July 15 - my b-day and if they still don't fit, off to the charity house. But - let's get started -
Addiction is a real illness. I know this because of my dealings with drug addicts and alcoholics. So, I am about 190 to 195 would be my guess - no, let me take that down - I am only like 2 inches buttoning my shorts that are size 16.. I don't want to be a size 16 but, I want to get there first...then the rest...so, let's be honest.
I have an intestinal problem. My medication causes trouble and I have chronic constipation. I take a Vegetable Laxative and Stool Softener everyday. I take 4 each of them and only have normal bowel movements. You'd think I would be on the pot 24/7 with all that, but I am not. So - on a not bloated day from the problems I would weigh about 185 to 190...with bloating I am probably close to 200. This is a guess. I haven't rewarded myself with a scale yet. I am working toward goals.
I am rewarding myself with non food items as I reach certain goals. By June I want to be in my shorts comfortably...By June 1st because we are going on vacation in June and I want to do well...and be smaller..so, here's to getting healthy. I will eat 5 to 6 small meals a day because I am diabetic and I must keep my sugar normal.
Yesterday was Step 1 - my first day - I had 25 points and went 3 over than I was suppose to. Today I working to stay within my points and I am also going to exercise to gain some points back too.
Today - Day number 2 - well, I am still excited. I am working on a few things. I am working on baby steps to concur my disorganized lifestyle.
I am working on points, and activity today. I am optimistic and can see a future with my body being healthy. It hurts to walk, to exercise, but I am going to do it. I am going to work hard at it too. So - there we go...Have a great day...
Love you for reading.
Food as my addiction...
I finally had to be honest and see that I needed to change. It's been to long. I didn't grow up overweight - in fact I was way small. I didn't hardly weigh anything and I miss that so much. Anyway...I have begun my journey to health, wellness and loosing pounds.
I am not going to starve myself, but I am going to make a plan. I have decided to incorporate some things into my daily living that are right for me. I will add credit when it's due and I will list the resource as well. I am not relying on one program to work for me, I am making my own...with that said, I will give credit where it is due..which is Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com - I am using a part point system - I have an entire kit from when my mom was a member. So, the ideas of the points really appeal to me and I think I will do well on this area - my next is Ruby - http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp -
She's an amazing woman and I have been following her progress and I am taking the challenge and borrowing the 12 steps to help me because my next help is from a book called Take Action given to me by my Dr. It's two books - one for activity and one for healthy choices - so I am looking forward to using this all together as a help for me. Also - while doing this I must credit Fly Lady because with my activity and eating - I have decided to also change my life style - and Fly Lady is my choice to incorporate into my life plan.
I am excited. I started Yesterday
Monday, April 19, 2010 with my brand new life.
Let me give ya a run down here.
I am following a point system which gives point values to food and I need to stay with a certain amount of points for the day. This is causing me to be brutality honest, even when I want to lie. About eating, about weight, about skipping exercise. Honestly and True - It's me!!!
I love you foe being here - Thanks for reading!
I am not going to starve myself, but I am going to make a plan. I have decided to incorporate some things into my daily living that are right for me. I will add credit when it's due and I will list the resource as well. I am not relying on one program to work for me, I am making my own...with that said, I will give credit where it is due..which is Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com - I am using a part point system - I have an entire kit from when my mom was a member. So, the ideas of the points really appeal to me and I think I will do well on this area - my next is Ruby - http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp -
She's an amazing woman and I have been following her progress and I am taking the challenge and borrowing the 12 steps to help me because my next help is from a book called Take Action given to me by my Dr. It's two books - one for activity and one for healthy choices - so I am looking forward to using this all together as a help for me. Also - while doing this I must credit Fly Lady because with my activity and eating - I have decided to also change my life style - and Fly Lady is my choice to incorporate into my life plan.
I am excited. I started Yesterday
Monday, April 19, 2010 with my brand new life.
Let me give ya a run down here.
I am following a point system which gives point values to food and I need to stay with a certain amount of points for the day. This is causing me to be brutality honest, even when I want to lie. About eating, about weight, about skipping exercise. Honestly and True - It's me!!!
I love you foe being here - Thanks for reading!
Updates on Health and Wellness - starting my recovery
Hey There!
I know - its been awhile. I am working toward a better me...I have a few things going on, there are some health issues, but I am working to solve it.
Health update:
Hematologist ordered blood work and I return on April 29 for an update. If the blood work is okay then I will make the steps for a bone marrow check - not sure what that entails and I honestly don't want to know. If blood is better from the iron pills or whatever then I am done with him. He suggested a visit to my OB/GYN which I haven't seen in years. So, I will be making an appointment and getting that stupid pap smear.
I started seeing a Chiropractor here in Whitney. My insurance pays for 12 visits a year.
He's great, he's careful and over all I do feel better. I had my third adjustment yesterday and I am a little more sore. But, there are other changes taking place there too that may be playing a part into that pain. Overall I am adjusting well.
My counselor slowed me to only seeing her once a month or so. I am glad. think maybe its too soon. But, I am adjusting. I know the recent visit has helped allot with all if this too.
So, I am making life changes. I have to admit that I am well, I am FAT!!! I have to do something. This is effecting my ability to move forward with anything. I am doing a combination here...
For my weight:
I am following Ruby @ http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp - I just love her! So, I am using her plan a little and
then incorporating the Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com Point System into my life. I have a kit from a while back. It was my mothers and she gave it to me. It's perfect, has everything to do the point system right here in my on home. I even have a calculator that's so cool at finding point values for things fast and easy. I am going to keep it in my purse.
Also what I will be doing with a little of Kirstie. I am Checking out Kirstie alley's stuff too at http://www.organicliaison.com/intro. I haven't purchased anything. Because I want to do this right. I don't want to do prepared foods, 2 shakes and 1 meal, I want to change my eating habits and life for the better so I am going to make my own weight loss program. You can follow my program and progress here, at facebook, twitter, and my personal blog. I will be posting more later today...I love you reading...
If you want to check these out I have provided links for you.
I know - its been awhile. I am working toward a better me...I have a few things going on, there are some health issues, but I am working to solve it.
Health update:
Hematologist ordered blood work and I return on April 29 for an update. If the blood work is okay then I will make the steps for a bone marrow check - not sure what that entails and I honestly don't want to know. If blood is better from the iron pills or whatever then I am done with him. He suggested a visit to my OB/GYN which I haven't seen in years. So, I will be making an appointment and getting that stupid pap smear.
I started seeing a Chiropractor here in Whitney. My insurance pays for 12 visits a year.
He's great, he's careful and over all I do feel better. I had my third adjustment yesterday and I am a little more sore. But, there are other changes taking place there too that may be playing a part into that pain. Overall I am adjusting well.
My counselor slowed me to only seeing her once a month or so. I am glad. think maybe its too soon. But, I am adjusting. I know the recent visit has helped allot with all if this too.
So, I am making life changes. I have to admit that I am well, I am FAT!!! I have to do something. This is effecting my ability to move forward with anything. I am doing a combination here...
For my weight:
I am following Ruby @ http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp - I just love her! So, I am using her plan a little and
then incorporating the Weight Watchers http://www.weightwatchers.com Point System into my life. I have a kit from a while back. It was my mothers and she gave it to me. It's perfect, has everything to do the point system right here in my on home. I even have a calculator that's so cool at finding point values for things fast and easy. I am going to keep it in my purse.
Also what I will be doing with a little of Kirstie. I am Checking out Kirstie alley's stuff too at http://www.organicliaison.com/intro. I haven't purchased anything. Because I want to do this right. I don't want to do prepared foods, 2 shakes and 1 meal, I want to change my eating habits and life for the better so I am going to make my own weight loss program. You can follow my program and progress here, at facebook, twitter, and my personal blog. I will be posting more later today...I love you reading...
If you want to check these out I have provided links for you.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Saving Money in all ways possible
So, most know about my savings by making my own laundry soap. But, do you know all the great shortcuts to cleaning there are? I use normal things that you can find around the house to clean with. It will sometimes be something you already have.
Main ingredients are Vinegar, Lemon, Lemon Oil, Salt, Rice, Peroxide, Baking soda, Borax, Alcohol - so, keep those in mind. Lemon can be used on some metals and on wood, it will make a great cleaner too with a little salt sprinkled on the lemon it can turn into a scrubber for a metal surface and it can polish silver as well.
Vinegar - one of my favorite uses of Vinegar is adding it to your rinse water if you wash by hand, if you wash with a dishwasher you can add it using that space you put finish in - just fill that with the vinegar and it cuts right through grease and leaves the dishes sparkling. For hand washers you add it to the rinse water or wash water if you want. I use to put bleach in my washing water to make sure I killed all germs since I wash dishes by hand. But, I do it differently now.
Want to know more about my frugal ways to clean...then be sure to catch my rantings here...
Main ingredients are Vinegar, Lemon, Lemon Oil, Salt, Rice, Peroxide, Baking soda, Borax, Alcohol - so, keep those in mind. Lemon can be used on some metals and on wood, it will make a great cleaner too with a little salt sprinkled on the lemon it can turn into a scrubber for a metal surface and it can polish silver as well.
Vinegar - one of my favorite uses of Vinegar is adding it to your rinse water if you wash by hand, if you wash with a dishwasher you can add it using that space you put finish in - just fill that with the vinegar and it cuts right through grease and leaves the dishes sparkling. For hand washers you add it to the rinse water or wash water if you want. I use to put bleach in my washing water to make sure I killed all germs since I wash dishes by hand. But, I do it differently now.
Want to know more about my frugal ways to clean...then be sure to catch my rantings here...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Personal Opinions "Our Government"
I believe that we should simply agree to disagree...I don't expect everyone to believe what I believe. I do know that we all have an opinion and the great thing about America is that we have the freedom to have that opinion. I am very against anyone who thinks that their opinion is the only one that matters and that everyone should be like they are or share that same opinion. I don't think you should agree with me, but I also know I am entitled to my own opinion. I get information that is more to one side or the other. Having children in school helps too, because they study the things I like to talk about with them and form my opinions. I believe that we should all be informed.
I pay interest to the issues that are important to me and you pay attention to the issues that are important to you.
I have a few strong opinions and I will share them. If you don't agree, you are welcome to share with me and comment. Remember, always honest, real, respectful and all you.
I think very strongly about the prison system, the justice system etc. Since I suffered for so many years at the hand of my abuser and it all came to a boiling point when he set the house on fire and the kids and I were in it. He got a sentence and spent 9 1/2 yrs. in Texas Prisons.
I will share that timeline another time, on my other blog.
But, I feel very strongly. I think it's wrong that the good people of this world must work and pay money to a government that allows TV, Music, Books, College, Classes, Food, and access to luxuries they shouldn't have. I think if we were harder on them, they wouldn't keep going back to prison over and over. He was only out a year and a half before he went back for theft. So, where is the reform in that? He's back so we can pay taxes to pay the idiots who feed the other idiots. So,that's my opinion on that.
This whole thing with the government. Likes the cig taxes in Texas.
I don't agree with Obama, I keep waiting for him to impress me, and as of yet, he hasn't given me anything to be proud of as of yet....I am open to his ability to impress me, but - I am just disappointed...in him and embarrassed.
After I got to thinking about things, I realized I do feel strongly about certain things.
I don't agree that Bush messed anything up - Clinton did plenty of that before Bush came in, and you can't really shake a finger at the war, when we were attacked by terrorist, I mean, what was he supposed to do? Think about it...no matter what, he'd piss some people off. So, my opinion is that he should have already brought our troops home. But, just as the things happened like the Ft. Hood shootings and the plane bomber. I mean really, should we stop fighting now? I live in Texas, and I am close to Ft. Hood. That hit home. It was Texas this time, not New York - Not another country, it was Texas. So, things changed, Obama had to take charge.
This isn't about him being black, or being anything at all for that matter. But, the past sure doesn't look very good at all. I mean look into his past. Look into his life that was lead, what he stood for at one time and what he seems to pretend to stand for now.
Tax breaks - well, the truth is that the hole this country is in, is not the work of just one president...
Clinton had entirely too much time on his hands and lets hope Obama isn't seduced, but anything can happen. For goodness sakes, Tiger Woods himself has folded to nothing and has been exposed as something horrible.
So, do we really know anyone? No we don't. We only know ourselves...
Have a great night friends -
Until next time - just be yourself!
Tracy
2009
I pay interest to the issues that are important to me and you pay attention to the issues that are important to you.
I have a few strong opinions and I will share them. If you don't agree, you are welcome to share with me and comment. Remember, always honest, real, respectful and all you.
I think very strongly about the prison system, the justice system etc. Since I suffered for so many years at the hand of my abuser and it all came to a boiling point when he set the house on fire and the kids and I were in it. He got a sentence and spent 9 1/2 yrs. in Texas Prisons.
I will share that timeline another time, on my other blog.
But, I feel very strongly. I think it's wrong that the good people of this world must work and pay money to a government that allows TV, Music, Books, College, Classes, Food, and access to luxuries they shouldn't have. I think if we were harder on them, they wouldn't keep going back to prison over and over. He was only out a year and a half before he went back for theft. So, where is the reform in that? He's back so we can pay taxes to pay the idiots who feed the other idiots. So,that's my opinion on that.
This whole thing with the government. Likes the cig taxes in Texas.
I don't agree with Obama, I keep waiting for him to impress me, and as of yet, he hasn't given me anything to be proud of as of yet....I am open to his ability to impress me, but - I am just disappointed...in him and embarrassed.
After I got to thinking about things, I realized I do feel strongly about certain things.
I don't agree that Bush messed anything up - Clinton did plenty of that before Bush came in, and you can't really shake a finger at the war, when we were attacked by terrorist, I mean, what was he supposed to do? Think about it...no matter what, he'd piss some people off. So, my opinion is that he should have already brought our troops home. But, just as the things happened like the Ft. Hood shootings and the plane bomber. I mean really, should we stop fighting now? I live in Texas, and I am close to Ft. Hood. That hit home. It was Texas this time, not New York - Not another country, it was Texas. So, things changed, Obama had to take charge.
This isn't about him being black, or being anything at all for that matter. But, the past sure doesn't look very good at all. I mean look into his past. Look into his life that was lead, what he stood for at one time and what he seems to pretend to stand for now.
Tax breaks - well, the truth is that the hole this country is in, is not the work of just one president...
Clinton had entirely too much time on his hands and lets hope Obama isn't seduced, but anything can happen. For goodness sakes, Tiger Woods himself has folded to nothing and has been exposed as something horrible.
So, do we really know anyone? No we don't. We only know ourselves...
Have a great night friends -
Until next time - just be yourself!
Tracy
2009
Friday, January 29, 2010
Going Crazy! Need a ride?
There are so many times that I look in the wrong direction and see that I should have been there all along. Have you ever done that? Being on a path and walking along fine until you stumble and look around at things around you and you start digging around that other side and realize, that you were on the wrong path and should have been there all along.
It's cold outside. Another cold front has brought in freezing temps. I hurt so bad this week it was nuts, even after the rain it didn't stop until finally the cold front came through. But, not great either though. It lifted some, and the pain was then more manageable. I hate this cold weather like this. Actually, my hot natured self loves the cold crisp air, but I hate what it does to me as it's making its way through the town I live in. Finally my bones begin to stop aching and I can not worry so much about hurting so badly. It's almost like a relief for a few hours, then of course I start having pain due to the cold air around me. I can't win for loosing. So - let me scoot off here and I shall return soon...thanks for reading!
It's cold outside. Another cold front has brought in freezing temps. I hurt so bad this week it was nuts, even after the rain it didn't stop until finally the cold front came through. But, not great either though. It lifted some, and the pain was then more manageable. I hate this cold weather like this. Actually, my hot natured self loves the cold crisp air, but I hate what it does to me as it's making its way through the town I live in. Finally my bones begin to stop aching and I can not worry so much about hurting so badly. It's almost like a relief for a few hours, then of course I start having pain due to the cold air around me. I can't win for loosing. So - let me scoot off here and I shall return soon...thanks for reading!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Working through the frustration
Frustration is high in the list right now. I find myself feeling more and more guilty and I can't take it anymore. I have reached a point in my life where I believe it's time for change. Something has to give and break at some point. I just need to find my way to the top.
Sometimes I feel like I am being controlled. I don't know our financial situation, I don't know our bills, what's in our account. I don't have a license to drive myself anywhere. This is going to change. I am making my mind up right here and now.
Damn it - this is my life too. I have every right to enjoy it just like anyone else.
I will start making the changes and plans that need to be made. I have things that have to come first in my life. I will not bow any longer. Not to anyone! I deserve to live in happiness and its up to me to make myself happy. My happiness doesn't depend on anyone else but me!
Sometimes I feel like I am being controlled. I don't know our financial situation, I don't know our bills, what's in our account. I don't have a license to drive myself anywhere. This is going to change. I am making my mind up right here and now.
Damn it - this is my life too. I have every right to enjoy it just like anyone else.
I will start making the changes and plans that need to be made. I have things that have to come first in my life. I will not bow any longer. Not to anyone! I deserve to live in happiness and its up to me to make myself happy. My happiness doesn't depend on anyone else but me!
Changes on Purpose
I need to begin to start taking my health seriously. I want to be different, do more, be better. I want to be independent. First of changes would be to start changing eating habits. Fresh fruits and veggies need to top my list and I will begin V8 since its a liquid form of veggies. Its not about weight anymore, it's about health. I will purchase things to help me with exercise and work toward making it a part of my everyday life. I must overcome this bowel problem. I must look past the fear of the colonoscopy and get it done already. I must do things on purpose!
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