Finding out about my addiction

I just didn't realize food was an addiction. While I am not a drug user of any sort of recreational drug, I am not a drinking either. I smoke cigarettes which needs to stop as well, that will come later because I can't do all changes at once or I won't follow through. I believe this.
With my choice and decisions made to change I began to find out what made me tick, what would help me. I began gaining and gaining and gaining until I confronted this issue. I am a sucker for hot fudge and ice cream. So - I would fill a bowl and add hot fudge and chow down after everyone was asleep. I ate! It shows too. Like I said, total honesty.
I just realized it was controlling me. I can't let this control me anymore.
So - I made a decision. I was given some small help books for diabetes type two - one was healthy eating and one was healthy activity. I need them both. Who am I kidding?
Not a soul. I don't see fat unless I am looking at a photo of myself or if I am trying to button my pants that use to fit perfect. I have them and I am not giving them away, just yet. I decided to try them out, hold them until July 15 - my b-day and if they still don't fit, off to the charity house. But - let's get started -

Addiction is a real illness. I know this because of my dealings with drug addicts and alcoholics. So, I am about 190 to 195 would be my guess - no, let me take that down - I am only like 2 inches buttoning my shorts that are size 16.. I don't want to be a size 16 but, I want to get there first...then the rest...so, let's be honest.

I have an intestinal problem. My medication causes trouble and I have chronic constipation. I take a Vegetable Laxative and Stool Softener everyday. I take 4 each of them and only have normal bowel movements. You'd think I would be on the pot 24/7 with all that, but I am not. So - on a not bloated day from the problems I would weigh about 185 to 190...with bloating I am probably close to 200. This is a guess. I haven't rewarded myself with a scale yet. I am working toward goals.

I am rewarding myself with non food items as I reach certain goals. By June I want to be in my shorts comfortably...By June 1st because we are going on vacation in June and I want to do well...and be smaller..so, here's to getting healthy. I will eat 5 to 6 small meals a day because I am diabetic and I must keep my sugar normal.

Yesterday was Step 1 - my first day - I had 25 points and went 3 over than I was suppose to. Today I working to stay within my points and I am also going to exercise to gain some points back too.

Today - Day number 2 - well, I am still excited. I am working on a few things. I am working on baby steps to concur my disorganized lifestyle.

I am working on points, and activity today. I am optimistic and can see a future with my body being healthy. It hurts to walk, to exercise, but I am going to do it. I am going to work hard at it too. So - there we go...Have a great day...
Love you for reading.