Forty??? 40??? LORDY LORDY help me with FORTY!

I can't believe we are in July of 2011 already. It's been a crazy year for sure.
I turned 40!!! YIKES!!!
I sat at my laptop after everyone had left the house from the amazing surprise party
my family set up.

I don't care how old you get, you will always want and need your mom. I finally have that wrapped around my head about my own kids. They will always need me, I can't loose them, they are mine. They love me and need me just like I need and love my own mother. I don't want my parents to get any older. I want my mother to stay with me forever!

I think about myself and realize I have been way to honest with my mom and I think that I would never want to hear from my kids what I have told my mom. Not about my mom. It's all my ignorance in other junk. But, I have always been uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel like I am going backwards. I have to do better. I just can't stay on this path...it's straight. I want a new journey. I new journey of being grandparents, and I want winds, and turns, and valley. I always learn from my mistakes!

This marks my brand new journey. I am on a quest to find myself.
I have been so busy being someone's mother, wife, in law, daughter, friend, and someone's sister.
I long for a close relationship with my brothers. I find myself really leaning too far back and not being everything that I should.

With my new journey - I want it to be documented. For my kids!!!
One day I will not be here and I want to leave behind something they can always fall back on.

So, about FORTY!!!
Oh MY Gosh someone help me!
I am forty - WOW!
I think I am okay with that!
I really do! I just may have finally grown up.

Well, with that I am off for now

Ta Ta for now!!!