Posts
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU....I SHARE SOMETIMES AND SOMETIMES I DON'T. I PREFER TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF...WHATEVER.
SO - I AM NEEDING TO VENT RIGHT NOW..SO, WARNING, IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, DON'T READ AND IF YOU ARE NOT, THEN WELCOME TO MY FREAKIN' F'ED UP WORLD! I WILL TRY NOT TO BE A CUSSING ALLOT, BUT - ANYWAY....WHAT IS FREAKING WRONG WITH ME...OMG!!!!
THE EFFIN' DOCTOR TOOK ME OF MY LEXAPRO WHICH WAS WORKING FINE AND PUT ME ASS ON CYMBALTA WHICH HE SAID WAS THE BEST...AND IT HELPED WITH MY PAIN...SO...OF FREAKIN' COURSE, I AM OUT. BUT, LATELY...SHIT FIRE AND SAVE THE MATCHES....DAMN IT...OKAY...LET'S JUST DIVE IN SHALL WE???
ABOUT 4 OR SO YEARS AGO, MAYBE MORE..I DON'T KNOW..I WAS WORKING AND SEEING A NEUROLOGIST FOR MY TN AND UNDIAGNOSED AT THE TIME OTHER PAIN. SHE GETS WORRIED ABOUT ME BECAUSE I COULDN'T REMEMBER SOMETHING AND ORDERED ME TO HAVE A PHYSC EVALUATION. I FREAKED OUT. WHAT THE HECK DO I NEED THAT FOR I WAS SAYING. SO, I TALKED TO THIS DOCTOR FOR THE EVALUATION AND SET UP THE STUPID APPOINTMENT...BUT AFRAID THEY'D DECLARE ME A NUT CASE, WHICH WE ALL KNOW I CLEARLY AM...I THOUGHT, SHE'D PUT ME AWAY. SO - I REFUSED TO GO...THIS WAS MY POINT OF VIEW....
I WAS MARRIED, HAD 5 KIDS I WAS RAISING, WORKED FULL TIME, HAD SPORTS, DINNER, AND MY HAVE TO PULL OUT THE SEX CANDY - YOU'D BE CRAZY TOO. I MEAN LEET'S GET REAL. I WAS NOT GOOD AT THE WHOLE WORKING MOM BULLSHIT. I JUST AM NOT CUT OUT TO HANDLE A TON OF PRESSURE I GUESS. I WORKED FINE, I WAS HANDLING EVERYTHING FINE, I JUST FORGOT WHAT SHE SAID...I MEAN REALLY, I WAS SEEING HER ONCE A MONTH. DON'T TELL ME I AM THE ONLY ONE IN THE FREE WORLD THAT FORGETS STUFF....SO - I DIDN'T GO...MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE, BECAUSE A BREAK IN THE NUT HOUSE FOR A FEW WEEKS SOUNDS REALLY GREAT RIGHT ABOUT NOW....
ANYWAY....ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO I GUESS..IT WAS BEFORE I MOVED HERE IN '07 I THINK. I TOLD MY DOCTOR I WAS HAVING A PROBLEM WITH LIFE. I CRIED ALL THE TIME. WAS HAVING TROUBLE COPING WITH THE IDIOT OUT OF PRISON AND STUFF, SO HE PUTS ME ON PAXIL. WE CALL IT MY CRAZY CANDY. I KNEW I WAS DEPRESSED. IN PAIN ALL THE TIME, CAN D THAT TO A PERSON. SO....I TOOK IT, I GOT BETTER. BUT, SO MUCH BETTER THAT I BECAME OVER TOLERANT. I JUST GOT TO THE POINT WHERE IT WAS OKAY..NO MATTER WHAT...THEN THE YOUNGER BOYS GOT AWAY WITH ALLOT MORE. I MEAN IT MELLOWED ME OUT SO BAD, THAT WHEN THE HOE NEXT DOOR CAME OVER AND ACTED LIKE A FREAKING NUT AND STARTED ATTACKING, I DIDN'T FIGHT BACK...YEA - SO, THE TEMPER WAS AT BAY, BUT I GAINED 40 LBS. THEN I STARTED SEEING THAD HERE IN WHITNEY. HE SAID, NO PAXIL AND GAVE ME LEXAPRO HE SAID THE PAXIL MAKES YOU GAIN WEIGHT...OH, THANKS TO THE OTHER DR. I WAS ALREADY FAT ENOUGH. DAMN, GUESS HE DIDN'T THINK SO. MAYBE HE WAS TURNED ON BY FAT ASSES...AND I HAD ONE...
SO, THE LEXAPRO, WELL LOST INSURANCE AND MY MOM GOT ME ON PROZAC. IT HELPED ME! I LOST WEIGHT AND WAS AMAZING. THEN INSURANCE IS BACK AND THEY TAKE ME OFF MY LEXAPRO AND PUT ME ON THEIS STUPID CYMBALTA WHICH MAKES ME FEEL AGITATED. LIKE I WANNA HURT SOMEONE OR MYSELF...JUST SOMETHING....SO, NOW I MA OUT AND STARTING TO FEEL MORE UGGGGG
BUT SINCE I BEEN ON THE CYMBALTA IT REALLY HAS MADE ME BLUNT AND OUTSPOKEN AGAIN. WHEN BEFORE I WAS CALM, COLLECTED AND FINE. BUT THAT STUPID AUNT FLOW SHOWS UP AGAIN AND I RIDE THE CRIMSON TIDE BEING PISSED OFF. SO MAYBE IT'S PMS???
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I KNOW I AM FREAKING OUT. I KNOW THAT I AM READY TO SCREAM, HIT, SOMETHING...I NEED SOMETHING TO DESTROY...LOL.....SO STAY THE "F" OUT MY WAY TODAY...LOL - I AM KIDDING..
I AM NOT TRYING TO BE SO BLUNT AND MEAN. I FEEL RUTHLESS, AND ANGRY. I FEEL AGRIVATED AND PISSED OFF...WHAT DO I DO?
Friday, April 10, 2009
DANIEL AND SARAH PROM NIGHT
WELL - WE ARE APPROACHING THE END...I CAN REALLY FEEL IT COMING NOW. LAST NIGHT WAS THE WHITNEY SENIOR PROM. MY ANGELS WENT. SARAH AND DANIEL. THIS WAS SARAH'S SENIOR PROM. SHE DRESSED IN A TIGHT FITTING SOLID BLACK DRESS DOWN TO HER FEET. WITH SILVER HEELS AND SILVER JEWELRY FLOATING ACROSS HER EVERYWHERE. SHE LOOKED AMAZING. BUT, SARAH DOESN'T HAVE TO DO MUCH TO BE BEAUTIFUL. SHE'S A NATURAL BEAUTY. GORGEOUS AND ADORABLE. WE HELPED HER DRESS AND THEN TOOK PICTURES WHILE DANIEL GOT DRESSED. THEY HAD THE TENT AND THINGS THEY NEEDED AS THEY PLANNED DINNER BEFORE THE PROM, THE PROM AND THEN CAMPING OUT WITH FRIENDS AFTER THE PROM. THEY ARE NOW SAFE AND SOUND ASLEEP IN THE HOUSE. THEY LOOK SO TUCKERED OUT. LOL
DANIEL WAS IN A PURPLE (HIS FAVORITE COLOR) SHIRT, WITH A TIE, AND PIN STRIPED SLACKS AND A HAT. HE WAS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. DANIEL DOESN'T HAVE TO DO MUCH TO BE GOODLOOKING EITHER. BOTH OF THEM JUST SHINE. WE TOOK THE PHOTOS AND THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY. AS THEY PULLED AWAY, VAL SAID I AM GOING TO CRY AT THE WEDDING AND I SAID ME TOO. I ALMOST CRIED WITH THIS.
REAIZING THAT THEY ARE GRADUATING VERY SOON, GETTING MARRIED AND STARTING A LIFE TOGETHER. I AM JUST LOST.
I MISS THEM ALREADY. BUT, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON...
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE PHOTOS FOR THE RED OAK SENIOR PROM DANIEL IS TAKING SARAH TOO. THEY ARE WONDERFUL TOGETHER.
I LOVE THEM BOTH VERY MUCH.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU GUYS, ONE PROM DOWN - ONE TO GO,
TWO GRADUATIONS AND A WEDDING...YOU TWO ARE KEEPING US BUSY...LOL
LOVE YOU BOTH...
MAMA
DANIEL WAS IN A PURPLE (HIS FAVORITE COLOR) SHIRT, WITH A TIE, AND PIN STRIPED SLACKS AND A HAT. HE WAS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. DANIEL DOESN'T HAVE TO DO MUCH TO BE GOODLOOKING EITHER. BOTH OF THEM JUST SHINE. WE TOOK THE PHOTOS AND THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY. AS THEY PULLED AWAY, VAL SAID I AM GOING TO CRY AT THE WEDDING AND I SAID ME TOO. I ALMOST CRIED WITH THIS.
REAIZING THAT THEY ARE GRADUATING VERY SOON, GETTING MARRIED AND STARTING A LIFE TOGETHER. I AM JUST LOST.
I MISS THEM ALREADY. BUT, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON...
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE PHOTOS FOR THE RED OAK SENIOR PROM DANIEL IS TAKING SARAH TOO. THEY ARE WONDERFUL TOGETHER.
I LOVE THEM BOTH VERY MUCH.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU GUYS, ONE PROM DOWN - ONE TO GO,
TWO GRADUATIONS AND A WEDDING...YOU TWO ARE KEEPING US BUSY...LOL
LOVE YOU BOTH...
MAMA
PAY IT FORWARD
FEELING INSPIRED BY THE MOVIE - " PAY IT FORWARD"
I LOVE THAT! WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA - RIGHT!
I LOVE THAT!!!! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO PAY FORWARD IT'S NOT FUNNY. IF I DID 3 PEOPLE FOR EVERY THINGS DONE SPECIAL FOR ME, I WOULD BE DOING IT FOR YEARS...BUT, THAT'S OKAY TOO.
I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF THAT.
YOU DO SOMETHING - SOMETHING BIG, THAT HELPS OR CHANGES SOMEONE'S LIFE. YOU DO SOMETHING THAT'S HARD, GIVE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY AND YOU DO THAT FOR THREE PEOPLE AND THEN YOU TELL THEM THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD AND DO THE SAME - FOR THREE PEOPLE. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO PAY BACK THE PERSON THAT GAVE TO YOU, YOU GIVE IT TO ANOTHER AND EACH PERSON GIVES TO 3 OTHERS.
WHY NOT TRY IT?
I AM PAYING IT FORWARD NOW....
I WILL START RIGHT AWAY....AND I THINK IF YOU READ THIS, YOU SHOULD TOO - START RIGHT NOW...SOMEONE THAT NEEDS YOU - OR MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY...DONE FOR ANOTHER...
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS...AND IS RIGHT NOW...GIVING OF THEMSELVES...TELL THAT PERSON, BY ACCEPTING YOUR OFFER AND HELP, THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD...GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE - 3 PEOPLE WITH THE RULES....
IT'S EASY....
I GAVE TO SOMEONE AND I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE. THE CIRCLE CAN'T BE BROKEN EXCEPT BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FOLLOW THROUGH, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T WORK, STILL FOLLOW THROUGH YOURSELF AND DON'T GIVE UP...
YEA BUDDY...I AM ON A ROLL TODAY....WOOHOO
IT'S LIKE A CHAIN LETTER....YOU GIVE TO 3, THEY EACH GIVE TO THREE...DON'T STOP IT....
WANNA JOIN THE PAY IT FORWARD CIRCLE???
TELL US A BOUT YOUR WAYS - ABOUT THE WAY IT HAS HELPED YOU....
TRACY
I LOVE THAT! WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA - RIGHT!
I LOVE THAT!!!! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO PAY FORWARD IT'S NOT FUNNY. IF I DID 3 PEOPLE FOR EVERY THINGS DONE SPECIAL FOR ME, I WOULD BE DOING IT FOR YEARS...BUT, THAT'S OKAY TOO.
I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF THAT.
YOU DO SOMETHING - SOMETHING BIG, THAT HELPS OR CHANGES SOMEONE'S LIFE. YOU DO SOMETHING THAT'S HARD, GIVE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY AND YOU DO THAT FOR THREE PEOPLE AND THEN YOU TELL THEM THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD AND DO THE SAME - FOR THREE PEOPLE. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO PAY BACK THE PERSON THAT GAVE TO YOU, YOU GIVE IT TO ANOTHER AND EACH PERSON GIVES TO 3 OTHERS.
WHY NOT TRY IT?
I AM PAYING IT FORWARD NOW....
I WILL START RIGHT AWAY....AND I THINK IF YOU READ THIS, YOU SHOULD TOO - START RIGHT NOW...SOMEONE THAT NEEDS YOU - OR MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY...DONE FOR ANOTHER...
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS...AND IS RIGHT NOW...GIVING OF THEMSELVES...TELL THAT PERSON, BY ACCEPTING YOUR OFFER AND HELP, THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD...GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE - 3 PEOPLE WITH THE RULES....
IT'S EASY....
I GAVE TO SOMEONE AND I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE. THE CIRCLE CAN'T BE BROKEN EXCEPT BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FOLLOW THROUGH, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T WORK, STILL FOLLOW THROUGH YOURSELF AND DON'T GIVE UP...
YEA BUDDY...I AM ON A ROLL TODAY....WOOHOO
IT'S LIKE A CHAIN LETTER....YOU GIVE TO 3, THEY EACH GIVE TO THREE...DON'T STOP IT....
WANNA JOIN THE PAY IT FORWARD CIRCLE???
TELL US A BOUT YOUR WAYS - ABOUT THE WAY IT HAS HELPED YOU....
TRACY
WHILE LOOKING FOR ME, I FOUND ANOTHER
WELL HELLO!!!
I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN FOREVER. I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE..BUT, IF I DON'T GET AT LEAST ONE IN A DAY..I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE DONE MY PART. LOL
THE TRUTH IS - I AM GETTING BETTER. I HAD A BAD ATTACK OF TN A FEW DAYS AGO. MY FACE SWELLED SO BADLY. I AM TRYING TO GET BETTER. I AM DOING BETTER NOW I THINK. BUT, IT WAS A BAD ATTACK. WE TOOK PICTURES, BUT I CAN'T UPLOAD THE DAMN THINGS BECAUSE "SOMEONE" LOST MY FREAKING CORD THAT GOES FROM THE COPMPUTER TO THE CAMERA TO TRANSFER PICS. I HAVE TONS ON THERE, EVEN DANIEL AND SARAH'S PROM PICS AND I CAN'T GET THE DAMN THINGS OFF AND GUESS WHAT? IT'S FULL NOW...DAMN IT.
I AM SO FREAKING PISSED ABOUT THAT. I WANT TO FIND THE CORD. GRRRRR
ANYWAY....I AM SO TOTALLY BECOMING MYSELF AGAIN.
I HAVE LEARNED ALLOT AND I AM MAINTAINING MY CARING, LOVING ATTITUDE, MY ABILITY TO GIVE AND CARE. BUT, HOLD ONTO TO THE MEDEA PART OF ME. THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. MY ABILITY TO FACE THE WHO I AM INSIDE AND OUT. I HAVE LEARNED TO ACCEPT MYSELF. LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF.
IT'S A HARD ROAD FOR ANYONE. BUT, I DO LOVE ME. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN BEGIN TO LOVE ANOTHER. YOU CAN LOVE YOUR KIDS WITHOUT LOVING YOURSELF TOO.
SO, THAT DOESN'T COUNT. I AM TALKING ABOUT A MATE OR A FRIEND. I AM OKAY WITH ME. I AM OKAY WITH MY WEIGHT, I AM OKAY WITH MY PAIN, I AM OKAY WITH MY FRECKLES AND I AM FINE WITH HAVING TO HAVE HELP SOMETIMES...IT'S OKAY...I KNOW THIS NOW. I HAVE LEARNED TO ALLOW TO BE HELPED...TO SAY, CAN YOU GET ME, OR CAN I DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. BUT, LET ME TELL YOU...THE PHYSICAL SIGNS OF TN.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WAS A SYMPTOM, BUT LEAVE IT TO ME..I HAVE A NEW SYMPTOM FOR TN - IT'S FACIAL SWELLING.
BUT, I HAVE A GREAT DR. AMAZING..AND WONDERFUL...
I AM WORKING ON CHANGING MY REGULAR DR. TO ANOTHER TOO. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO FINDING HELP AND HAVING THEM THAT GIVE A SHIT. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN HAVING SOMEONE THAT JUST WANTS YOUR INSURANCE MONEY...I WANT A DOCTOR THAT SAYS, WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR YOU, THEN DO IT - NOT SOMEONE WHO SAYS....I CAN'T DO ANYMORE....
I WANT TO PAY IT FORWARD...OH THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG...LOL
I ENJOY SHARING THINGS WITH OTHERS. I ENJOY LETTING OTHERS KNOW ABOUT ME, ABOUT MY LIFE, ABOUT MY DREAMS,HOPES,FEARS...I AM A WRITER, SO DOING THIS FILLS MY LIFE AND TIME....
HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY FRUGAL LIFE YET????
YOU NEED TOO....TRUST ME - OH, THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG TOO..LOL
MOVING ON UP....TO THE TOP...YADDA YADDA YADDA....
CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE MY FRIEND HERE...YAY!!!!
OKAY...SHUTTING UP ON THIS ONE....LATER
I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN FOREVER. I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE..BUT, IF I DON'T GET AT LEAST ONE IN A DAY..I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE DONE MY PART. LOL
THE TRUTH IS - I AM GETTING BETTER. I HAD A BAD ATTACK OF TN A FEW DAYS AGO. MY FACE SWELLED SO BADLY. I AM TRYING TO GET BETTER. I AM DOING BETTER NOW I THINK. BUT, IT WAS A BAD ATTACK. WE TOOK PICTURES, BUT I CAN'T UPLOAD THE DAMN THINGS BECAUSE "SOMEONE" LOST MY FREAKING CORD THAT GOES FROM THE COPMPUTER TO THE CAMERA TO TRANSFER PICS. I HAVE TONS ON THERE, EVEN DANIEL AND SARAH'S PROM PICS AND I CAN'T GET THE DAMN THINGS OFF AND GUESS WHAT? IT'S FULL NOW...DAMN IT.
I AM SO FREAKING PISSED ABOUT THAT. I WANT TO FIND THE CORD. GRRRRR
ANYWAY....I AM SO TOTALLY BECOMING MYSELF AGAIN.
I HAVE LEARNED ALLOT AND I AM MAINTAINING MY CARING, LOVING ATTITUDE, MY ABILITY TO GIVE AND CARE. BUT, HOLD ONTO TO THE MEDEA PART OF ME. THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. MY ABILITY TO FACE THE WHO I AM INSIDE AND OUT. I HAVE LEARNED TO ACCEPT MYSELF. LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF.
IT'S A HARD ROAD FOR ANYONE. BUT, I DO LOVE ME. YOU MUST LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN BEGIN TO LOVE ANOTHER. YOU CAN LOVE YOUR KIDS WITHOUT LOVING YOURSELF TOO.
SO, THAT DOESN'T COUNT. I AM TALKING ABOUT A MATE OR A FRIEND. I AM OKAY WITH ME. I AM OKAY WITH MY WEIGHT, I AM OKAY WITH MY PAIN, I AM OKAY WITH MY FRECKLES AND I AM FINE WITH HAVING TO HAVE HELP SOMETIMES...IT'S OKAY...I KNOW THIS NOW. I HAVE LEARNED TO ALLOW TO BE HELPED...TO SAY, CAN YOU GET ME, OR CAN I DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. BUT, LET ME TELL YOU...THE PHYSICAL SIGNS OF TN.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WAS A SYMPTOM, BUT LEAVE IT TO ME..I HAVE A NEW SYMPTOM FOR TN - IT'S FACIAL SWELLING.
BUT, I HAVE A GREAT DR. AMAZING..AND WONDERFUL...
I AM WORKING ON CHANGING MY REGULAR DR. TO ANOTHER TOO. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO FINDING HELP AND HAVING THEM THAT GIVE A SHIT. IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN HAVING SOMEONE THAT JUST WANTS YOUR INSURANCE MONEY...I WANT A DOCTOR THAT SAYS, WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR YOU, THEN DO IT - NOT SOMEONE WHO SAYS....I CAN'T DO ANYMORE....
I WANT TO PAY IT FORWARD...OH THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG...LOL
I ENJOY SHARING THINGS WITH OTHERS. I ENJOY LETTING OTHERS KNOW ABOUT ME, ABOUT MY LIFE, ABOUT MY DREAMS,HOPES,FEARS...I AM A WRITER, SO DOING THIS FILLS MY LIFE AND TIME....
HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY FRUGAL LIFE YET????
YOU NEED TOO....TRUST ME - OH, THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG TOO..LOL
MOVING ON UP....TO THE TOP...YADDA YADDA YADDA....
CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE MY FRIEND HERE...YAY!!!!
OKAY...SHUTTING UP ON THIS ONE....LATER
GLAD TO HAVE MY HOUSE....
I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE MY HOUSE BACK...WELL, LET REPHRASE A LITTLE. I MUST ELABORATE ON MY HOUSE GUEST.
BE REAL - BOTTOM LINE, IT'S HARD TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS DISABLED AND DOESN'T CARE FOR THEMSELVES. I NEVER KNEW HOW HARD IT WOULD BE. I AM DISABLED. BUT, I CARE FOR MYSELF. WHEN I CAN'T, I AM OPEN ABOUT - SAYING - I NEED HELP TAKING A SHOWER...THIS ONE - DID NOT!
I AM NOT SURE THAT SHE EVEN WORE, OR OWNED FOR THAT MATTER....DEODORANT...I SWEAR, IT WILL TAKE ME DAYS TO GET RID OF THE SMELL...IN THE MONTH SHE WAS HERE, SHE TOOK EXACTLY AND NO EXAGGERATION - 4 MAYBE 5 SHOWERS....ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? BUT, BY THE EVENING SHE SMELLED LIKE SHE NEEDED ANOTHER SHOWER...I SWEAR! I WAS EMBARASSED FOR ANYONE TO EVEN MEET HER THAT CAME OVER. BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED TO SAY SHE STAYED HERE WITH AS BAD A HER HYGIENE WAS. I TOOK ALL I COULD. PEOPLE BEGAN TO COMMENT TO ME ABOUT IT. I FELT BAD FOR HER ON ONE HAND, BUT ON ANOTHER - THERE'S NO EXCUSE TO STINK. NONE!
SHE IS NOT SO DISABLED THAT SHE CAN'T SHOWER. I WAS JUST READY FOR HER TO GO. I GOT TO THE POINT OF DONE.
JOHN WAS OVER THE TOP AND I MET HIM THERE....IT HAD TO STOP.
YOU EVER SEEN BEBE'S KIDS? WELL, THERE'S A BABY THERE, THE BABY NEVER GETS A DIAPER CHANGE AND THE FLIES SWARMED AROUND IT AND THE ODOR WAS SEEN...THIS GREEN FOG...SAME WITH SAY, LINUS ON CHARLIE BROWN THAT BROWN FOG FROM THE STINK THAT SURROUNDED HIM, IT WAS THIS BAD. I AM NOT KIDDING. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE.
THE HYGIENE, THE NOT BEING ABLE TO GO TO MY ROOM, THE MESS, I WAS JUST DONE.....DONE...DONE!!!
I AM KEEPING THIS TO MY PREFERRED LIST...I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE FAIR TO DIRT TALK TO EVERYONE, JUST A SELECT FEW...LOL
OKAY, I FEEL A LITTLE BAD. BECAUSE I SHOULD TALK SHIT. BUT, I HAD TO VENT. I MEAN IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS. I JUST CAN'T PLAY ALONG AFTER SO MANY NOTES.
THE FIRST FEW DAYS, IT WAS FINE...BUT, AFTER NOT SHOWERING..SHE DIDN'T PICK UP AFTER HER SELF, SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING HERSELF. HOW DID SHE CARE FOR HERSELF, LIVING IN HER OWN APARTMENT? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?
IS SHE FAKING IT TO A POINT?
I AM JUST DIFFERENT. I GUESS. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO THINKS LIKE ME TOO. I AM ILL, I KNOW HOW ILL I AM. I MUST TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I HAVE KIDS AND MAN, I NEED TO CARE FOR ME, SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO. I CARE FOR THEM, ALL I CAN.
I LIKE THE FACT THAT I AM STILL ABLE TO CARE FOR MYSELF. TAKE A SHOWER, CHANGE MY PADS WHEN NEEDED, I LOVE THE FACT THAT I AM ABLE TO CARE FOR ME....THERE MAY BE A DAY WHEN I CAN'T, AND I WANT TO NOT HAVE WORN OUT THE HELP BEFORE HAND....
DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? THERE MAY COME A DAY, WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO CARE FOR YOU. GET YOU DRINKS, FOOD, HELP YOU WITH SHOWERS, WOULD YOU WANT TO WEAR OUT THAT HELP BEFORE ITS EVER TRULY NEEDED? SEE - MY POINT MADE!!!!
I AM GLAD I AM THIS WAY. I AM GLAD I HAVE A DR. WHO WORKS TO MAKE ME MORE EFFICIENT AND ABLE TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE NOW....I THANK GOD FOR HER PRESENCE IN MY LIFE.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SPENDING TIME WITH MY FRIEND OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. I KNOW WE WILL HAVE A BLAST. ENJOY HANGING OUT AND GOD KNOWS, SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. BUT, TO BE HONEST - I WOULDN'T MIND CARING FOR HER. I WOULDN'T MIND HELPING HER. BECAUSE I KNOW SHE DOES ALL SHE CAN ON HER OWN LIKE ME. TO BE ABLE TO HELP HER WOULD BE GREAT....BECAUSE SHE HELPS HERSELF...ANYWAY...I AM JUST VENTING HERE...SORRY I AM SO SLOSHED...I AM JUST FRUSTRATED...STILL TRYING TO REMOVE THE SMELL OF THE GUEST FROM MY HOUSE AT THIS POINT....
I WILL JUMP OFF MY BOX FOR NOW, I JUST FINALLY HAD A CHANCE TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS....IT WAS TOUGH....
LATER MY FRIENDS.....AND READERS....
BE REAL - BOTTOM LINE, IT'S HARD TO LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS DISABLED AND DOESN'T CARE FOR THEMSELVES. I NEVER KNEW HOW HARD IT WOULD BE. I AM DISABLED. BUT, I CARE FOR MYSELF. WHEN I CAN'T, I AM OPEN ABOUT - SAYING - I NEED HELP TAKING A SHOWER...THIS ONE - DID NOT!
I AM NOT SURE THAT SHE EVEN WORE, OR OWNED FOR THAT MATTER....DEODORANT...I SWEAR, IT WILL TAKE ME DAYS TO GET RID OF THE SMELL...IN THE MONTH SHE WAS HERE, SHE TOOK EXACTLY AND NO EXAGGERATION - 4 MAYBE 5 SHOWERS....ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? BUT, BY THE EVENING SHE SMELLED LIKE SHE NEEDED ANOTHER SHOWER...I SWEAR! I WAS EMBARASSED FOR ANYONE TO EVEN MEET HER THAT CAME OVER. BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED TO SAY SHE STAYED HERE WITH AS BAD A HER HYGIENE WAS. I TOOK ALL I COULD. PEOPLE BEGAN TO COMMENT TO ME ABOUT IT. I FELT BAD FOR HER ON ONE HAND, BUT ON ANOTHER - THERE'S NO EXCUSE TO STINK. NONE!
SHE IS NOT SO DISABLED THAT SHE CAN'T SHOWER. I WAS JUST READY FOR HER TO GO. I GOT TO THE POINT OF DONE.
JOHN WAS OVER THE TOP AND I MET HIM THERE....IT HAD TO STOP.
YOU EVER SEEN BEBE'S KIDS? WELL, THERE'S A BABY THERE, THE BABY NEVER GETS A DIAPER CHANGE AND THE FLIES SWARMED AROUND IT AND THE ODOR WAS SEEN...THIS GREEN FOG...SAME WITH SAY, LINUS ON CHARLIE BROWN THAT BROWN FOG FROM THE STINK THAT SURROUNDED HIM, IT WAS THIS BAD. I AM NOT KIDDING. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE.
THE HYGIENE, THE NOT BEING ABLE TO GO TO MY ROOM, THE MESS, I WAS JUST DONE.....DONE...DONE!!!
I AM KEEPING THIS TO MY PREFERRED LIST...I DON'T THINK IT WOULD BE FAIR TO DIRT TALK TO EVERYONE, JUST A SELECT FEW...LOL
OKAY, I FEEL A LITTLE BAD. BECAUSE I SHOULD TALK SHIT. BUT, I HAD TO VENT. I MEAN IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS. I JUST CAN'T PLAY ALONG AFTER SO MANY NOTES.
THE FIRST FEW DAYS, IT WAS FINE...BUT, AFTER NOT SHOWERING..SHE DIDN'T PICK UP AFTER HER SELF, SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING HERSELF. HOW DID SHE CARE FOR HERSELF, LIVING IN HER OWN APARTMENT? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?
IS SHE FAKING IT TO A POINT?
I AM JUST DIFFERENT. I GUESS. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO THINKS LIKE ME TOO. I AM ILL, I KNOW HOW ILL I AM. I MUST TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I HAVE KIDS AND MAN, I NEED TO CARE FOR ME, SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO. I CARE FOR THEM, ALL I CAN.
I LIKE THE FACT THAT I AM STILL ABLE TO CARE FOR MYSELF. TAKE A SHOWER, CHANGE MY PADS WHEN NEEDED, I LOVE THE FACT THAT I AM ABLE TO CARE FOR ME....THERE MAY BE A DAY WHEN I CAN'T, AND I WANT TO NOT HAVE WORN OUT THE HELP BEFORE HAND....
DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? THERE MAY COME A DAY, WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO CARE FOR YOU. GET YOU DRINKS, FOOD, HELP YOU WITH SHOWERS, WOULD YOU WANT TO WEAR OUT THAT HELP BEFORE ITS EVER TRULY NEEDED? SEE - MY POINT MADE!!!!
I AM GLAD I AM THIS WAY. I AM GLAD I HAVE A DR. WHO WORKS TO MAKE ME MORE EFFICIENT AND ABLE TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE NOW....I THANK GOD FOR HER PRESENCE IN MY LIFE.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SPENDING TIME WITH MY FRIEND OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. I KNOW WE WILL HAVE A BLAST. ENJOY HANGING OUT AND GOD KNOWS, SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. BUT, TO BE HONEST - I WOULDN'T MIND CARING FOR HER. I WOULDN'T MIND HELPING HER. BECAUSE I KNOW SHE DOES ALL SHE CAN ON HER OWN LIKE ME. TO BE ABLE TO HELP HER WOULD BE GREAT....BECAUSE SHE HELPS HERSELF...ANYWAY...I AM JUST VENTING HERE...SORRY I AM SO SLOSHED...I AM JUST FRUSTRATED...STILL TRYING TO REMOVE THE SMELL OF THE GUEST FROM MY HOUSE AT THIS POINT....
I WILL JUMP OFF MY BOX FOR NOW, I JUST FINALLY HAD A CHANCE TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS....IT WAS TOUGH....
LATER MY FRIENDS.....AND READERS....
EXCUSE THE RUMORS - I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT ME
YEA - NEVER MIND WHAT YOU BEEN TOLD OR WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW...LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT ME...
I AM A DECENT AGE. I AM 37 - AND I HAVE LIVED. I AM OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE HAD CHALLENGES AND OBSTACLES IN MY LIFE. I AM NOT SOME YOUNG PUNK THAT NEEDS THE RULES GIVEN TO ME..SO - EXCUSE ME, BUT, UNLESS YOU ARE OLDER THAN ME, THEN SHUT THE HELL UP...LOL
NO, SERIOUSLY!
I AM AN ADULT. I HAVE CHILDREN. THEY ARE AMAZING KIDS.
VALARIE IS 20 AND I AM VERY PROUD OF HER. SHE IS LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT OF HER OWN TO SHARE WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND THE LOVE OF HER LIFE TARRANCE. MY DAUGHTER PREFERS AFRICAN AMERICAN GUYS (BLACK) AND AFTER MUCH DEBATE - THAT'S FINE WITH ME. HER HAPPINESS IS WHAT MATTERS TO ME. IF SHE IS HAPPY AND HE'S GOOD TO MY BABY GIRL THEN IT'S ALL GOOD. I LOVE WHO SHE LOVES.
DANIEL IS 18 - AND ENGAGED TO HIS LIFETIME GIRLFRIEND SARAH. YES, SARAH LIVED WITH US. SINCE SHE WAS 12, SHE HAS LIVED WITH US AND SHE WILL MARRY MY AMAZING SON AND BE THE MOTHER OF MY GRAND KIDS. WE HELPED RAISE HER, SO WE ARE POSITIVE SHE HAS THE RIGHT MORALS WE WANT SHARED WITH OUR SON AND GRAND KIDS. THEY WILL MARRY IN JULY BEFORE THEY TURN 19. DON'T ASSUME YOU KNOW WHAT IS BETTER FOR MY CHILDREN. REMEMBER - THEY ARE MY KIDS...NOT YOURS AND I HAVE GOTTEN 3 CHILDREN TO AGE 18 WITH NO BABIES...SO - I WOULD SAY, WE ARE DOING PRETTY GOOD HERE....
JOSEPH IS ALMOST 16. HE'LL BE 16 APRIL 22 - JUST A FEW MORE DAYS. HE HAS NOT GOTTEN HIS PERMIT OR LICENSE BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN PUT OFF A YEAR FOR HIS BEHAVIOR. JOSEPH IS A DIFFICULT ONE. HE'S AMAZING. LOVES PEOPLE, HE'S GREAT TO ME. BUT, HE HAS A TEMPER PROBLEM. HE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT IT, HE DOES SOMETHING FIRST. HE WILL HIT YOU AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER. IT HAS LANDED HIM INTO SOME AWFUL TROUBLE. HE'S NOT STEALING, LYING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. HE HAS ACTED OUT OF SELF DEFENSE TO MOUTHY ASS KIDS AND SHUT THE MOUTH RUNNING AND LANDED HIMSELF IN TROUBLE...SO...WE LOOK FORWARD TO THE GRADES COMING UP.
THEN THERE'S TRAVIS. HE'S A SWEETHEART. DOESN'T GET INTO TROUBLE MUCH. HE IS FRIENDLY AND OUTGOING. MOST EVERYONE LIKES HIM. HE'S A SWEET ALL AROUND GREAT KID. HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND. THAT MAY VERY WELL BE HIS SOUL MATE. CHEYENNE IS A GREAT GIRL AND PERFECT FOR TRAVIS.
THEN THERE'S JOHN...I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. HE'S AMAZING. MORE IN LOVE NOW, THAN EVER BEFORE. I LOVE BEING WITH HIM. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11 YEARS AND WE CELEBRATE 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE IN NOVEMBER. I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER MAN. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, HE'S STILL THE ONE THAT MAKES MY HEART BEAT FAST AND GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES...I LOVE HIM MORE THAN HE COULD EVER KNOW..
ABOUT ME?
WELL, I AM GROWN AND I AM ME, RAW, REAL AND TRUE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GUESS WHAT I AM GOING TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, BECAUSE I WILL TELL YOU. EXACTLY WHAT I THINK. I AM BLUNT. I AM HONEST..CAN' YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?
JUST LIKE DENA SAYS, IF YOU FEEL GUILTY READING IT, THEN THAT'S YOUR OWN GUILT, NOT MINE. I AM JUST BEING REAL AND HONEST...MY FRIEND...
I AM ALSO VERY LOVING AND CARING FOR OTHERS. I WILL GIVE ALL I HAVE TO GIVE. I WILL GIVE MY LAST DOLLAR, MY LAST PAIR OF SHOES. I WOULD GIVE THE SHIRT OFF MY BACK. UNTIL YOU DO ME WRONG. I WILL MOST OF THE TIME GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE, BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. THERE WILL NOT BE A THIRD CHANCE. I WILL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT ONCE, BUT IF YOU SCREW ME A SECOND TIME OR DO ME WRONG A SECOND TIME, THERE WILL NOT BE ANOTHER CHANCE. I LEARNED THAT WITH MY FIRST HUSBAND.
AFTER BEING SCREWD AND SCREWED OVER BY HIM, I LEARNED REAL FAST...
THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE A VICTIM -
THE SECOND TIME, AND EVERY OTHER TIME AFTER THAT,
YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER!
SERIOUSLY! IF YOU STAY - YOU LOOSE YOUR RIGHT TO BITCH!
I STAND FIRMLY ON THIS.
WHEN I WAS MARRIED TO THE FIRST IDIOT FUCKER, AND HE BEAT ME, YOU CAN ASK MY PARENTS - I SAID NOTHING. THEY DIDN'T KNOW HE BEAT ME UNTIL HE WAS IN PRISON AND I WAS DIVORCING HIS IGNORANT HILLBILLY ASS. TRUST ME, I PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH. I STAYED AND THEREFOR I LOST MY RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT IT...SO - TAKE THAT ONE PIECE OF ADVICE...IF NOTHING ELSE - IF YOU STAY IN THE SHIT WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OR CLEANING IT UP, THEN YOU LOOSE YOUR RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT HOW BAD THAT SHIT SMELLS.
IF SOMEONE TREATS YOU WRONG AND THEN YOU STOP HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM, WHAT GUILT IS THAT OF YOURS?
NOTHING!!!!
THIS IS HOW I SEE IT, AND WHAT I TELL MY CHILDREN, IF YOU SIT IN AN ISLE AND PEOPLE ARE WALKING BY. SAY AT THE MOVIE THEATRE AND THEY KEEP GETTING UP...SAY, THEY STEP ON YOUR TOES AND HIT YOU WHILE GOING BY, AREN'T YOU GOING TO MOVE YOUR FEET A DIFFERENT DIRECTION, LIFE THEM HIGHER OR STAND UP, SO THEY CAN PASS TO KEEP FROM GETTING HIT OR STEPPED ON AGAIN? WELL THAT'S THE SAME DAMN CONCEPT - TURN THE OTHER CHEEK BUT DON'T LET THEM STEP ON YOU OR HIT YOU AGAIN...WALK AWAY...THIS IS A GREAT THING TO LIVE BY TOO...
I WILL GIVE YOU $500 DOLLARS TO HELP YOU OUT, BUT WHEN YOU COME BACK TO ME AND ASK FOR ANOTHER $500 WITHOUT AN EFFORT TO DO BETTER FOR YOURSELF, LIKE PAYING THE BILLS THAT WERE DO AND GETTING SOME FOOD, IF YOU CHOOSE TO LIE AND NOT HELP YOURSELF, BUT THEN ASK ME FOR A $500 AGAIN, I MAY GIVE IT A SECOND TIME, BUT WHEN YOU COME TO ME ON NUMBER THREE, IF THERE IS ANOTHER CHANCE - IF YOU DARE TO ASK A THIRD TIME, I WILL LOOK STRAIGHT AT YOU, AND SAY TOUGH LOVE BITCH, FIGURE IT OUT AND DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF...LIKE I DON'T KNOW, BUY SOME DAMN FOOD, PAY SOME BILLS. SERIOUSLY - I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES, WITH MY HABIT OF SMOKING, WE HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING, PAYING BILLS AND BUYING FOOD, THAT I HAVE WENT WITHOUT SMOKING, IT'S A HABIT, NOT A NEED SAME WITH JOHN'S BEER. IT'S NOT A NEED. IT'S A PLEASURE MY FRIEND. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU HAVE WATER TO BATHE YOUR STINKING ASS, MILK, BREAD, PEANUT BUTTER AND CEREAL. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE - THINK ABOUT IT!
I AM NOT SAYING THIS AS IF I HAVE NEVER DONE IT, BECAUSE I HAVE. WENT WITHOUT CIGS TO GIVE FOOD TO MY BABIES.
IF I SEE YOU STRUGGLING, I SEE THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT AND YOU NEED HELP, I WILL OFFER, IF I THINK YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. IF I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE MY $$ AND RUN TO BUY DRUGS - I WON'T. YOU NEED GAS? THEN LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE STATION AND PUT $10 IN THERE FOR YOU. IF YOU ARE HUNGRY, THEN EAT WITH US, OR I WILL TAKE YOU AND BUY YOU FOOD. TRUST ME, I WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT. FOR YOU AND FOR ME..
I HAVE BEEN HATED ON, LONG ENOUGH. I HAVE HIDDEN BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE TALKED ABOUT, BUT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
EVEN JOHN WILL TELL YOU, MY WIFE & KIDS COME FIRST AFTER GOD AND THEN MAYBE YOU IF I HAVE TIME. I HAVE SHOWN HIM AND HE HAS SHOWN ME HOW TO PLACE OURSELVES TO AN IMPORTANT SPOT. WHY SHOULDN'T WE BE IMPORTANT.
I TOLD JOHN, AFTER 3 YEARS, BUY THE DAMN BOAT. TAKE $50 OUT OF YOUR CHECK FOR PLEASURE. YOU DESERVE IT. HE WORKS HIS ASS OFF. HE MAKES SURE I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED AND THE KIDS HAVE WHAT THEY NEED. HE DESERVES TIME FOR HIMSELF. I DON'T CARE IF HE TAKES THAT BOAT OUT EVERY DAY...HE DESERVES IT. I ENJOY IT TOO. I ENCOURAGE HIM TO TAKE TIME FOR HIMSELF AND FILL HIS ENJOYMENT. HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO ENJOY LIFE AND NOT ALLOW OTHERS TO TAKE FROM HIS LIFE. SO, IF HE OFFERS TO DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE, THEN I BACK HIM 100% JOHN IS A GREAT JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
IF JOHN MEETS SOMEONE AND SAYS, I REALLY LIKE THEM. I TRUST HIM, BECAUSE HE IS GREAT ABOUT THAT....HE'S AWESOME!
SO, ABOUT ME?
I WILL TELL YOU HOW I SEE IT. I WILL GIVE YOU ADVICE IF I AM ASKED. I USUALLY DON'T SPEAK IT OUT UNLESS ASKED, UNLESS I JUST FEEL I HAVE TO TELL YOU...
I DON'T LIE, I DON'T HIDE.
I AM ME, RAW - REAL - TRUE!
I KEEP MYSELF OPEN AND HONEST. I DON'T COMROMISE WHO I AM FOR ANYONE - NOT ANYMORE!
IF YOU LIKE ME, GREAT - IF YOU DON'T - I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, I AM NOT ON EARTH TO PLEASE YOU.
THINGS I DON'T LIKE -
I CAN'T STAND LIARS. JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH. DON'T LIE TO ME. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BULLSHIT, SO DON'T FEED IT TO ME. AND WE CAN SMELL BULLSHIT THE FIRST TURD YOU DROP, SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO GIVE IT TO US.
I CAN'T STAND STUPIDITY OR FAKE - I CAN'T STAND IT!
IT BOTHERS ME THAT SOMEONE IS A FAKE PERSON OR SOMEONE THAT IS SO DAMN STUPID...I HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR STUPIDITY. SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER OF YOU FULL SHIT OR STUPID.
I DON'T DO WELL WITH SMELLY PEOPLE - DAMN JUST TAKE A SHOWER. IF YOU DON'T HAVE DEODERANT, THEN BATHE MORE OFTEN, SAY LIKE - EVERY DAY. I DON'T WANT TO SMELL YOUR ASS, YOUS NASTY BALL SACK AFTER YOU HAVE SCRATCHED YOUR NUTS AND NOT WASHED YOUR HANDS, OR YOUR NASTY CROTCH. DOUCHE THAT SHIT BITCH!!! AND GUYS, PULL THOSE BALLS UP AND WASH WITH SOAP UNDER THERE. LOL
I CAN'T STAND SMELLY ASSES...I HATE IT...I WILL THROW UP AND THEN LOOK AT YOU AND OFFER A BAR OF SOAP AND A TOWEL...FOR REAL...
I DON'T LIE - EVEN IF IT WILL GET ME IN TROUBLE, I TELL THE TRUTH..ALWAYS THE TRUTH. I DON'T CHEAT OR STEAL EITHER.
I AM NOT SAYING I HAVE NEVER. WHAT I AM SAYING IS, I HAVE AND WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN...IT'S WRONG...LYING - CHEATING - STEALING...DO OVER!!!!
IN A DAY AND TIME FAR AWAY FROM HERE, I GIVE YOU MY LIFE...ALL I ASK IS YOUR TRUTH TO ME...DON'T FUCK ME OVER!
I HAVE BEEN LIED TO, CHEATED ON, STOLEN FROM, BEATEN AND BRUISED. I HAVE LOVED, I HAVE LOST AND I HAVE LEARNED FROM EVERY SINGLE EXPERINCE. EVERY ONE!
I LEARNED AND THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART, LEARN FROM THE LESSONS WE ARE GIVEN. LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES WE MAKE AND LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE.
THAT'S MY WHOLE THING!
I HAVE BEEN HURT SO BADLY AND I HAVE BEEN SO SICK, I HAVE BEEN SCARED I WOULD NEVER RECOVER, SO I LIVE ON PURPOSE.
IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND, YOU ARE MY FRIEND ON PURPOSE, NOT BY A MISTAKE. I SPEAK AND LISTEN ON PURPOSE, I TALK ON PURPOSE - I LIVE ON PURPOSE!
THAT'S MY MOTTO - LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE!!!!
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BULLSHIT, SO IF YOU AREN'T ON PURPOSE, THEN LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!
OKAY, THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH FOR NOW...MOVING ON...
I AM A DECENT AGE. I AM 37 - AND I HAVE LIVED. I AM OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE HAD CHALLENGES AND OBSTACLES IN MY LIFE. I AM NOT SOME YOUNG PUNK THAT NEEDS THE RULES GIVEN TO ME..SO - EXCUSE ME, BUT, UNLESS YOU ARE OLDER THAN ME, THEN SHUT THE HELL UP...LOL
NO, SERIOUSLY!
I AM AN ADULT. I HAVE CHILDREN. THEY ARE AMAZING KIDS.
VALARIE IS 20 AND I AM VERY PROUD OF HER. SHE IS LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT OF HER OWN TO SHARE WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND THE LOVE OF HER LIFE TARRANCE. MY DAUGHTER PREFERS AFRICAN AMERICAN GUYS (BLACK) AND AFTER MUCH DEBATE - THAT'S FINE WITH ME. HER HAPPINESS IS WHAT MATTERS TO ME. IF SHE IS HAPPY AND HE'S GOOD TO MY BABY GIRL THEN IT'S ALL GOOD. I LOVE WHO SHE LOVES.
DANIEL IS 18 - AND ENGAGED TO HIS LIFETIME GIRLFRIEND SARAH. YES, SARAH LIVED WITH US. SINCE SHE WAS 12, SHE HAS LIVED WITH US AND SHE WILL MARRY MY AMAZING SON AND BE THE MOTHER OF MY GRAND KIDS. WE HELPED RAISE HER, SO WE ARE POSITIVE SHE HAS THE RIGHT MORALS WE WANT SHARED WITH OUR SON AND GRAND KIDS. THEY WILL MARRY IN JULY BEFORE THEY TURN 19. DON'T ASSUME YOU KNOW WHAT IS BETTER FOR MY CHILDREN. REMEMBER - THEY ARE MY KIDS...NOT YOURS AND I HAVE GOTTEN 3 CHILDREN TO AGE 18 WITH NO BABIES...SO - I WOULD SAY, WE ARE DOING PRETTY GOOD HERE....
JOSEPH IS ALMOST 16. HE'LL BE 16 APRIL 22 - JUST A FEW MORE DAYS. HE HAS NOT GOTTEN HIS PERMIT OR LICENSE BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN PUT OFF A YEAR FOR HIS BEHAVIOR. JOSEPH IS A DIFFICULT ONE. HE'S AMAZING. LOVES PEOPLE, HE'S GREAT TO ME. BUT, HE HAS A TEMPER PROBLEM. HE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT IT, HE DOES SOMETHING FIRST. HE WILL HIT YOU AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER. IT HAS LANDED HIM INTO SOME AWFUL TROUBLE. HE'S NOT STEALING, LYING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. HE HAS ACTED OUT OF SELF DEFENSE TO MOUTHY ASS KIDS AND SHUT THE MOUTH RUNNING AND LANDED HIMSELF IN TROUBLE...SO...WE LOOK FORWARD TO THE GRADES COMING UP.
THEN THERE'S TRAVIS. HE'S A SWEETHEART. DOESN'T GET INTO TROUBLE MUCH. HE IS FRIENDLY AND OUTGOING. MOST EVERYONE LIKES HIM. HE'S A SWEET ALL AROUND GREAT KID. HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND. THAT MAY VERY WELL BE HIS SOUL MATE. CHEYENNE IS A GREAT GIRL AND PERFECT FOR TRAVIS.
THEN THERE'S JOHN...I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. HE'S AMAZING. MORE IN LOVE NOW, THAN EVER BEFORE. I LOVE BEING WITH HIM. WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 11 YEARS AND WE CELEBRATE 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE IN NOVEMBER. I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER MAN. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, HE'S STILL THE ONE THAT MAKES MY HEART BEAT FAST AND GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES...I LOVE HIM MORE THAN HE COULD EVER KNOW..
ABOUT ME?
WELL, I AM GROWN AND I AM ME, RAW, REAL AND TRUE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GUESS WHAT I AM GOING TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING, BECAUSE I WILL TELL YOU. EXACTLY WHAT I THINK. I AM BLUNT. I AM HONEST..CAN' YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?
JUST LIKE DENA SAYS, IF YOU FEEL GUILTY READING IT, THEN THAT'S YOUR OWN GUILT, NOT MINE. I AM JUST BEING REAL AND HONEST...MY FRIEND...
I AM ALSO VERY LOVING AND CARING FOR OTHERS. I WILL GIVE ALL I HAVE TO GIVE. I WILL GIVE MY LAST DOLLAR, MY LAST PAIR OF SHOES. I WOULD GIVE THE SHIRT OFF MY BACK. UNTIL YOU DO ME WRONG. I WILL MOST OF THE TIME GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE, BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. THERE WILL NOT BE A THIRD CHANCE. I WILL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT ONCE, BUT IF YOU SCREW ME A SECOND TIME OR DO ME WRONG A SECOND TIME, THERE WILL NOT BE ANOTHER CHANCE. I LEARNED THAT WITH MY FIRST HUSBAND.
AFTER BEING SCREWD AND SCREWED OVER BY HIM, I LEARNED REAL FAST...
THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE A VICTIM -
THE SECOND TIME, AND EVERY OTHER TIME AFTER THAT,
YOU ARE A VOLUNTEER!
SERIOUSLY! IF YOU STAY - YOU LOOSE YOUR RIGHT TO BITCH!
I STAND FIRMLY ON THIS.
WHEN I WAS MARRIED TO THE FIRST IDIOT FUCKER, AND HE BEAT ME, YOU CAN ASK MY PARENTS - I SAID NOTHING. THEY DIDN'T KNOW HE BEAT ME UNTIL HE WAS IN PRISON AND I WAS DIVORCING HIS IGNORANT HILLBILLY ASS. TRUST ME, I PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH. I STAYED AND THEREFOR I LOST MY RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT IT...SO - TAKE THAT ONE PIECE OF ADVICE...IF NOTHING ELSE - IF YOU STAY IN THE SHIT WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OR CLEANING IT UP, THEN YOU LOOSE YOUR RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT HOW BAD THAT SHIT SMELLS.
IF SOMEONE TREATS YOU WRONG AND THEN YOU STOP HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM, WHAT GUILT IS THAT OF YOURS?
NOTHING!!!!
THIS IS HOW I SEE IT, AND WHAT I TELL MY CHILDREN, IF YOU SIT IN AN ISLE AND PEOPLE ARE WALKING BY. SAY AT THE MOVIE THEATRE AND THEY KEEP GETTING UP...SAY, THEY STEP ON YOUR TOES AND HIT YOU WHILE GOING BY, AREN'T YOU GOING TO MOVE YOUR FEET A DIFFERENT DIRECTION, LIFE THEM HIGHER OR STAND UP, SO THEY CAN PASS TO KEEP FROM GETTING HIT OR STEPPED ON AGAIN? WELL THAT'S THE SAME DAMN CONCEPT - TURN THE OTHER CHEEK BUT DON'T LET THEM STEP ON YOU OR HIT YOU AGAIN...WALK AWAY...THIS IS A GREAT THING TO LIVE BY TOO...
I WILL GIVE YOU $500 DOLLARS TO HELP YOU OUT, BUT WHEN YOU COME BACK TO ME AND ASK FOR ANOTHER $500 WITHOUT AN EFFORT TO DO BETTER FOR YOURSELF, LIKE PAYING THE BILLS THAT WERE DO AND GETTING SOME FOOD, IF YOU CHOOSE TO LIE AND NOT HELP YOURSELF, BUT THEN ASK ME FOR A $500 AGAIN, I MAY GIVE IT A SECOND TIME, BUT WHEN YOU COME TO ME ON NUMBER THREE, IF THERE IS ANOTHER CHANCE - IF YOU DARE TO ASK A THIRD TIME, I WILL LOOK STRAIGHT AT YOU, AND SAY TOUGH LOVE BITCH, FIGURE IT OUT AND DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF...LIKE I DON'T KNOW, BUY SOME DAMN FOOD, PAY SOME BILLS. SERIOUSLY - I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES, WITH MY HABIT OF SMOKING, WE HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING, PAYING BILLS AND BUYING FOOD, THAT I HAVE WENT WITHOUT SMOKING, IT'S A HABIT, NOT A NEED SAME WITH JOHN'S BEER. IT'S NOT A NEED. IT'S A PLEASURE MY FRIEND. SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU HAVE WATER TO BATHE YOUR STINKING ASS, MILK, BREAD, PEANUT BUTTER AND CEREAL. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE - THINK ABOUT IT!
I AM NOT SAYING THIS AS IF I HAVE NEVER DONE IT, BECAUSE I HAVE. WENT WITHOUT CIGS TO GIVE FOOD TO MY BABIES.
IF I SEE YOU STRUGGLING, I SEE THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE IT AND YOU NEED HELP, I WILL OFFER, IF I THINK YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. IF I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE MY $$ AND RUN TO BUY DRUGS - I WON'T. YOU NEED GAS? THEN LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE STATION AND PUT $10 IN THERE FOR YOU. IF YOU ARE HUNGRY, THEN EAT WITH US, OR I WILL TAKE YOU AND BUY YOU FOOD. TRUST ME, I WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT. FOR YOU AND FOR ME..
I HAVE BEEN HATED ON, LONG ENOUGH. I HAVE HIDDEN BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE TALKED ABOUT, BUT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
EVEN JOHN WILL TELL YOU, MY WIFE & KIDS COME FIRST AFTER GOD AND THEN MAYBE YOU IF I HAVE TIME. I HAVE SHOWN HIM AND HE HAS SHOWN ME HOW TO PLACE OURSELVES TO AN IMPORTANT SPOT. WHY SHOULDN'T WE BE IMPORTANT.
I TOLD JOHN, AFTER 3 YEARS, BUY THE DAMN BOAT. TAKE $50 OUT OF YOUR CHECK FOR PLEASURE. YOU DESERVE IT. HE WORKS HIS ASS OFF. HE MAKES SURE I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED AND THE KIDS HAVE WHAT THEY NEED. HE DESERVES TIME FOR HIMSELF. I DON'T CARE IF HE TAKES THAT BOAT OUT EVERY DAY...HE DESERVES IT. I ENJOY IT TOO. I ENCOURAGE HIM TO TAKE TIME FOR HIMSELF AND FILL HIS ENJOYMENT. HE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO ENJOY LIFE AND NOT ALLOW OTHERS TO TAKE FROM HIS LIFE. SO, IF HE OFFERS TO DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE, THEN I BACK HIM 100% JOHN IS A GREAT JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
IF JOHN MEETS SOMEONE AND SAYS, I REALLY LIKE THEM. I TRUST HIM, BECAUSE HE IS GREAT ABOUT THAT....HE'S AWESOME!
SO, ABOUT ME?
I WILL TELL YOU HOW I SEE IT. I WILL GIVE YOU ADVICE IF I AM ASKED. I USUALLY DON'T SPEAK IT OUT UNLESS ASKED, UNLESS I JUST FEEL I HAVE TO TELL YOU...
I DON'T LIE, I DON'T HIDE.
I AM ME, RAW - REAL - TRUE!
I KEEP MYSELF OPEN AND HONEST. I DON'T COMROMISE WHO I AM FOR ANYONE - NOT ANYMORE!
IF YOU LIKE ME, GREAT - IF YOU DON'T - I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, I AM NOT ON EARTH TO PLEASE YOU.
THINGS I DON'T LIKE -
I CAN'T STAND LIARS. JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH. DON'T LIE TO ME. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BULLSHIT, SO DON'T FEED IT TO ME. AND WE CAN SMELL BULLSHIT THE FIRST TURD YOU DROP, SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO GIVE IT TO US.
I CAN'T STAND STUPIDITY OR FAKE - I CAN'T STAND IT!
IT BOTHERS ME THAT SOMEONE IS A FAKE PERSON OR SOMEONE THAT IS SO DAMN STUPID...I HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR STUPIDITY. SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER OF YOU FULL SHIT OR STUPID.
I DON'T DO WELL WITH SMELLY PEOPLE - DAMN JUST TAKE A SHOWER. IF YOU DON'T HAVE DEODERANT, THEN BATHE MORE OFTEN, SAY LIKE - EVERY DAY. I DON'T WANT TO SMELL YOUR ASS, YOUS NASTY BALL SACK AFTER YOU HAVE SCRATCHED YOUR NUTS AND NOT WASHED YOUR HANDS, OR YOUR NASTY CROTCH. DOUCHE THAT SHIT BITCH!!! AND GUYS, PULL THOSE BALLS UP AND WASH WITH SOAP UNDER THERE. LOL
I CAN'T STAND SMELLY ASSES...I HATE IT...I WILL THROW UP AND THEN LOOK AT YOU AND OFFER A BAR OF SOAP AND A TOWEL...FOR REAL...
I DON'T LIE - EVEN IF IT WILL GET ME IN TROUBLE, I TELL THE TRUTH..ALWAYS THE TRUTH. I DON'T CHEAT OR STEAL EITHER.
I AM NOT SAYING I HAVE NEVER. WHAT I AM SAYING IS, I HAVE AND WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN...IT'S WRONG...LYING - CHEATING - STEALING...DO OVER!!!!
IN A DAY AND TIME FAR AWAY FROM HERE, I GIVE YOU MY LIFE...ALL I ASK IS YOUR TRUTH TO ME...DON'T FUCK ME OVER!
I HAVE BEEN LIED TO, CHEATED ON, STOLEN FROM, BEATEN AND BRUISED. I HAVE LOVED, I HAVE LOST AND I HAVE LEARNED FROM EVERY SINGLE EXPERINCE. EVERY ONE!
I LEARNED AND THAT'S THE IMPORTANT PART, LEARN FROM THE LESSONS WE ARE GIVEN. LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES WE MAKE AND LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE.
THAT'S MY WHOLE THING!
I HAVE BEEN HURT SO BADLY AND I HAVE BEEN SO SICK, I HAVE BEEN SCARED I WOULD NEVER RECOVER, SO I LIVE ON PURPOSE.
IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND, YOU ARE MY FRIEND ON PURPOSE, NOT BY A MISTAKE. I SPEAK AND LISTEN ON PURPOSE, I TALK ON PURPOSE - I LIVE ON PURPOSE!
THAT'S MY MOTTO - LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE!!!!
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BULLSHIT, SO IF YOU AREN'T ON PURPOSE, THEN LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!
OKAY, THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH FOR NOW...MOVING ON...
FRUGAL LIFE!!!
IT'S A FRUGAL LIFE FOR US!!!
I MADE A FRUGAL MY SPACE - BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT!
I HAVE A REALLY CLOSE FRIEND THAT HAS BLOG THAT IS FULL OF EVERYTHING THAT'S FREE!!!!!
http://teresasfreestuff.blogspot.com/
SO....TAKE A LOOK!
http://www.myspace.com/fairyofsavings
ADD ME AND STAY UP TO DATE ON ALL THE SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS OF A FRUGAL LIFE IN THIS ECONOMIC CRISIS
I MADE A FRUGAL MY SPACE - BE SURE TO CHECK IT OUT!
I HAVE A REALLY CLOSE FRIEND THAT HAS BLOG THAT IS FULL OF EVERYTHING THAT'S FREE!!!!!
http://teresasfreestuff.blogspot.com/
SO....TAKE A LOOK!
http://www.myspace.com/fairyofsavings
ADD ME AND STAY UP TO DATE ON ALL THE SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS OF A FRUGAL LIFE IN THIS ECONOMIC CRISIS
Thursday, April 9, 2009
PAY IT FORWARD
FEELING INSPIRED BY THE MOVIE - " PAY IT FORWARD"
I LOVE THAT! WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA - RIGHT!
I LOVE THAT!!!! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO PAY FORWARD IT'S NOT FUNNY. IF I DID 3 PEOPLE FOR EVERY THINGS DONE SPECIAL FOR ME, I WOULD BE DOING IT FOR YEARS...BUT, THAT'S OKAY TOO.
I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF THAT.
YOU DO SOMETHING - SOMETHING BIG, THAT HELPS OR CHANGES SOMEONE'S LIFE. YOU DO SOMETHING THAT'S HARD, GIVE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY AND YOU DO THAT FOR THREE PEOPLE AND THEN YOU TELL THEM THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD AND DO THE SAME - FOR THREE PEOPLE. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO PAY BACK THE PERSON THAT GAVE TO YOU, YOU GIVE IT TO ANOTHER AND EACH PERSON GIVES TO 3 OTHERS.
WHY NOT TRY IT?
I AM PAYING IT FORWARD NOW....
I WILL START RIGHT AWAY....AND I THINK IF YOU READ THIS, YOU SHOULD TOO - START RIGHT NOW...SOMEONE THAT NEEDS YOU - OR MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY...DONE FOR ANOTHER...
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS...AND IS RIGHT NOW...GIVING OF THEMSELVES...TELL THAT PERSON, BY ACCEPTING YOUR OFFER AND HELP, THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD...GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE - 3 PEOPLE WITH THE RULES....
IT'S EASY....
I GAVE TO SOMEONE AND I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE. THE CIRCLE CAN'T BE BROKEN EXCEPT BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FOLLOW THROUGH, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T WORK, STILL FOLLOW THROUGH YOURSELF AND DON'T GIVE UP...
YEA BUDDY...I AM ON A ROLL TODAY....WOOHOO
IT'S LIKE A CHAIN LETTER....YOU GIVE TO 3, THEY EACH GIVE TO THREE...DON'T STOP IT....
WANNA JOIN THE PAY IT FORWARD CIRCLE???
TELL US A BOUT YOUR WAYS - ABOUT THE WAY IT HAS HELPED YOU....
TRACY
I LOVE THAT! WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA - RIGHT!
I LOVE THAT!!!! I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO PAY FORWARD IT'S NOT FUNNY. IF I DID 3 PEOPLE FOR EVERY THINGS DONE SPECIAL FOR ME, I WOULD BE DOING IT FOR YEARS...BUT, THAT'S OKAY TOO.
I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF THAT.
YOU DO SOMETHING - SOMETHING BIG, THAT HELPS OR CHANGES SOMEONE'S LIFE. YOU DO SOMETHING THAT'S HARD, GIVE OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY AND YOU DO THAT FOR THREE PEOPLE AND THEN YOU TELL THEM THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD AND DO THE SAME - FOR THREE PEOPLE. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO PAY BACK THE PERSON THAT GAVE TO YOU, YOU GIVE IT TO ANOTHER AND EACH PERSON GIVES TO 3 OTHERS.
WHY NOT TRY IT?
I AM PAYING IT FORWARD NOW....
I WILL START RIGHT AWAY....AND I THINK IF YOU READ THIS, YOU SHOULD TOO - START RIGHT NOW...SOMEONE THAT NEEDS YOU - OR MAYBE YOU HAVE ALREADY...DONE FOR ANOTHER...
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS...AND IS RIGHT NOW...GIVING OF THEMSELVES...TELL THAT PERSON, BY ACCEPTING YOUR OFFER AND HELP, THEY MUST PAY IT FORWARD...GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE - 3 PEOPLE WITH THE RULES....
IT'S EASY....
I GAVE TO SOMEONE AND I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE. THE CIRCLE CAN'T BE BROKEN EXCEPT BY SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FOLLOW THROUGH, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T WORK, STILL FOLLOW THROUGH YOURSELF AND DON'T GIVE UP...
YEA BUDDY...I AM ON A ROLL TODAY....WOOHOO
IT'S LIKE A CHAIN LETTER....YOU GIVE TO 3, THEY EACH GIVE TO THREE...DON'T STOP IT....
WANNA JOIN THE PAY IT FORWARD CIRCLE???
TELL US A BOUT YOUR WAYS - ABOUT THE WAY IT HAS HELPED YOU....
TRACY
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
