Just a day....one day at a time Sweet Jesus

I woke up today, just like any other day. I started my day out like I do everyday.
I wonder how the day will control me. Will I be bed bound or able to exercise and get house hold things done. I evaluate my pain as I roll out of bed for my morning coffee.

When I wake I reach trembling and rolling over to my side with grunt and groans, I try to push myself up to sitting. Sometimes, it's so hard to use my arms and hands to get up, so I will reach for my pain medication and take it with my water. I give it about 30 minutes to start working. I can feel when it takes over my pain. I then start over and try again. The worst part, is if I have to potty when I wake up. This can be painful if I am forced to wait to have my morning potty. Once I am up, I make my way to bathroom and I will spare you the details of the potty session.

I make my way to the coffee pot, usually I can just get a cup because I set the pot up the night before to make coffee the next morning on a timer. (that is a life saver)
Once I make my way back to be bedroom I set myself up on my bed, grab my computer sometimes. If I am severe pain, I will just simply lay back down. I sit on my heating pads. I have two, one is usually on my hip, and another is elsewhere. It catches an arm, a hand, a knee, hip or whatever else needs heat that morning. While I am waiting for the heating pad and medication to take control I take the rest of my morning medications.

After a rest I am usually able to move about more freely. With slight pain I can continue through my day. I make a meal shake usually, then do some chores, laundry - dishes - sweeping - etc. I am extremely blessed,because sometimes I don't get to do anything that day, and my kids come in from school and take over. They help me so much. Talk to me when they get home, and then they will do dishes, cook dinner, or whatever else I may need from them. I have the best kids. I am so lucky!

When I confront my pain, I sometimes find despair. Not because of home life, or something the kids or John did to me. Its always just me. Feeling guilty because I am not a good wife or good mother, guilty because I don't do enough around here. It bothers me that anyone has to help me with anything. Anyway, that's just me.

I can tell when it's time to take my medication, my body knows and I can feel it fade. When to take the medication - it's strange, but true. That's about it, a day in the life of ME!

Thanks for reading!